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A "RETURN of the Number of PERSONS FLOGGED in the BRITISH NAVY, in each of the Years 1845 and 1846; specifying the Name of the Ship, the Offence, the Sentence and the Number of Lashes Infficted." Parlamentary Paper, Number 661 of Session 1847
So after reading the Post about Jopsons Flogging by @handfuloftime I went down a research rabbit hole because I wanted to see if their exist sufficient & specific enough Data to accuratly compare his punishment and put it in the historical context.
I found this Website, which features the two tables from the Parlamentary Papers and their Source.
(Note: The tables on the website are incomplete and inaccurate in certain places. I compared it from top to bottom to the original source and corrected/added the informations in my table.)
I used that as a basis for my own table, where I also added Averages and Sliders so people can search the Informations!
(Apparently Sliders don't work on Mobil, and I don't know enough about Google Sheets how to fix it :/
If anyone knows or if you find a some kind mistake please let me know.)
This week I visited the University Libary, which has access to the Parlamentary Papers Online, to see if such tables also exist for earlier years but sadly 1845 was the first year where they went into such Specifics.
(I hope to add some of the Years after 1846 to the table, when I can.)
Earlier years only had these Informations per Year:
Total Number of Punishments
Total Number of Lashes
Highest Number of Lashes Inflicted at One Time
Lowest Numper of Lashes Inflicted at One Time
This Information for 1839 - 1846 under the Cut.
Also under the Read More are some Graphs, Medians & Averages about Flogging for Drunkenness Alone, seperated by Seamen, Marines, Boys and Everyone!
Hope that someone find this useful/interesting !
Corporal Punishment for Drunkenness Alone
Everyone:
Lashes Sentenced Median: 32,75 (1845: 33,5 | 1846: 31,4)
Lashes Sentenced Average: 31,07 (1845: 31,13 | 1846: 31,02)
Lashes Inflicted Average: 30,8 (1845: 31,02 | 1846: 30,58)
Seamen:
Lashes Sentenced Median: 36 (1845: 36 | 1846: 36)
Lashes Sentenced Average: 34,37 (1845: 34,62 | 1846: 33,86)
Lashes Inflicted Average: 34,33 (1845: 34,41 | 1846: 33,86)
Marines:
Lashes Sentenced Median: 31,4 (1845: 32 | 1846: 31,4)
Lashes Sentenced Average: 30,8 (1845: 31,09 | 1846: 31,09)
Lashes Inflicted Average: 30,8 (1845: 31,09 | 1846: 30,69)
Boys:
Lashes Sentenced Median: 24 (1845: 24 | 1846: 33)
Lashes Sentenced Average: 26,22 (1845: 24,4 | 1846: 28,5)
Lashes Inflicted Average: 25,33 (1845: 24,4 | 1846: 26,5)
Years
1839:
Number of Punishments: 2,007
Number of Lashes: 59,341
Highest: 60 | Lowest: 3
1840:
Number of Punishments: 2,026
Number of Lashes: 60,302
Highest: 48 | Lowest: 1
1841:
Number of Punishments: 2,066
Number of Lashes: 61,669
Highest: 50 | Lowest: 2
1842:
Number of Punishments: 2,472
Number of Lashes: 71,024
Highest: 100* | Lowest: 1
1843:
Number of Punishments: 2,170
Number of Lashes: 63,985
Highest: 60 | Lowest: 3
1844:
Number of Punishments: 1,411
Number of Lashes: 42,352
Highest: 72+ | Lowest: 6
1845:
Number of Punishments: 1,070
Number of Lashes: 33,511
Highest: 48 | Lowest: 3
1846:
Number of Punishments: 1,077
Number of Lashes: 32,360
Highest: 50* | Lowest: 3
*By sentence of a Court Martial.
+By order of the Commander-in-Chief for theft, in a shop at Chusan, and violence to the natives.
Sources: A "RETURN of the CORPORAL PUNISHMENTS inflicted in the ROYAL NAVY, in each of the Years 1839 to 1843, both inclusive, stating the highest and lowest Number of Lashes at each Time, and the aggregate Number of Lashes in each Year [ ]" Parlamentary Paper, Number 308, of Session 1845 + ABSTRACT of Total Numbers of CORPORAL PUNISHMENTS inflicted in the NAVY, and the Total Number of LASHES Inflicted, in each Year up to the 31st December 1846 [ ]. Parlamentary Paper, Number 661, of Session 1847
#british navy#the terror#thomas jopson#cornelius hickey#tagging him also because maybe some fan find this interesting too#good I hope this post is formulated okay#i tend to overthink that#also it's late BUT I finally need to post this#before terror camp next week#okay this week for me#but I havent gone to bed so I dont feel like it's monday yet#i spend lots of hours searching until I found that website the day the post hit#and when the Keynote was Anounced I knew that I had to finally finish the table#I spend SO SO Many Hours on this#I hope at least one person will find this useful#also the Admiralitys Capitalising really didnt help reign my german brain in#also this isn't all the maths I have in my notes#I calculated more Averages but I thought I might overwhelm people so I streamlined this Post a bit#Still mad that I worked so much to get this Sliders to work#even after they Broke#and they not even work on Mobile#need to fix that somehow in the future#i always had the Vibe that Floggings in The Terror might have been tuned down/adjusted for modern audiences
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Yes, this is a new account, I just made this. I don't care if people question the authenticity of my post, my experience as a shifter, or whatever I'm about to say.
I don't know how to use Tumblr, nor do I know how to make my post reach people who need it, nor would I be a narcissist and say "you're lucky if you found my post!" I don't mind if this reaches an audience or not, I'm glad to get everything off my chest.
Yes. I've shifted.
I have shifted realities, more times than I can count on my fingers, and that is for a very specific reason, which I'll explain later.
I'm writing this because I'm about to permashift, and no, I won't hear out any antishifters or people who don't like permashifting in general, I don't care about your opinion so don't waste my time.
Before I start, I'd like to say one thing:
I was irrational minded, I lacked belief in myself and shifting. Shifting often times felt like a chore more than a fun activity, and i have to admit, it became an unhealthy habit.
So? Why did I mention this?
Because I had been lurking around shifting communities and I realised everyone feels like this, a very (mentally) painful feeling where the lack of shifts starts acting as your biggest enemy, and the phrase:
"Shifting needs practice!"
Sounds like poison when it comes from an experienced shifter.
Though, is the phrase actually true?
No, not at all.
Shifting does not need practice!!
Here's why:
(BTW, I will explain my "method", no matter if I have time or not. Also, I don't call this reality "Current Reality", instead I call it Void reality, so don't get confused.)
The "practice" you're doing is only affecting your void reality (taking time out of your day, making you constantly think you're in your learning phase, so it doesn't exactly lead to your desired reality, does it?)
Of course, if you view it as a skill, it will in some way act like that, it'll become a skill for you, and you can never succeed on your first, second, third, hundredth try, because in your brain you have registered the fact that shifting is this grand, universal task, and that it is very difficult (because its common sense that you practice difficult things to get good at them)
Practice is a very humane and earthly act, if people have succeeded doing just practice, then good for then, they're right in their own way, but it didn't work for me, and in my opinion it's the worst way to view shifting, and often times it is demotivating, and you'll mess up you're entire journey.
Shifting is not a skill, shifting is a universal law.
I'll become more clear as I explain my journey:
My journey:
I found shifting from a random YouTube video 3 years ago. I might have only said cool and moved along.
A year later something traumatic happened in my life, which shook me so badly I needed an escape.
First of all, I chose astral projecting, but I realised I was too much of a coward to do so.
Then I came towards shifting, first DR was very typical, it was Hogwarts.
Having no knowledge whatsoever in the topics of spirituality, meditation, I went straight to methods, because they were like guides for me, I was very inexperienced, of course, and looked at other people and what they were doing for guidance.
Alice in wonderland method didn't do much, raven method was too uncomfortable (side note, all this raven method does is make you too focused on your void reality, cmon, in your DR are you laying down like a starfish?) And I was having terrible trouble with my intrusive thoughts (which made the floor disappear from under my feet, made the stairs for the stairs method too short to climb or straight up made them dissappear as well)
I didn't have any luck that year, no mini shifts, no lucid dreams, or sleep paralysis. And my DRs never remained constant. They always changed on a daily basis.
I was big on methods, I couldn't realize they never worked for me.
Although, this year of failure led me to finally figure out where I belonged.
A DR made out of scratch, which I spend much effort in putting the pieces of it together.
The DR, which was called "Home reality" really made me feel settled in my journey.
LOA, and the consciousness theory were the leading factors which made me shift.
And don't worry, it isn't what you're tired of being told, I didn't just apply any orthodox definition of LOA and succeeded.
Background to my first shift:
It was a particularly stressful day, I really missed my home.
I was studying at my college (I still am, but...) and I was dreading giving a chemistry test, I did not prepare. In my mind, one thing was constantly looping in my head.
The scenario of the chemistry teacher coming in, and taking the test, and the next day I get it handed back with a big fat zero.
But then I stopped and wondered, having already known about the consciousness theory, so according to it:
"I am constantly letting this thought run in my mind, and constantly letting this reality dictate what happens next."
Basically, I realized what was about to happen next was indirectly in my control, but with my line of thinking, I was letting this reality control it directly.
I stopped, like actually stopped thinking.
And with a blank mind I thought.
"I won't have to take any test today."
And went around telling my classmates this with a confident tone.
The teacher came in, said we'll instead do some practicals in lab.
So the test got cancelled.
Going home, I got excited, i felt powerful.
I decided to apply this to shifting.
Before shifting, I took a nap during the day, (if you're tired your body insists on sleeping, so your mind will get hazy and you will start acting lazy towards your goal)
And after living how I normally would, before bedtime, I listened to some songs, and look at a Pinterest board which reminded me of my home reality.
My method and what happened next:
First phase of shifting:
When I laid down on the bed to start shifting, I first got comfy (for me, if I feel sleepy for some reason, I laid on my back, I can't fall asleep in that position, but if I think ill stay awake until I reach a "detached state" then I sleep on my side, it's comfortable)
I obviously wasn't checking the time, but I spent about 10 minutes getting relaxed, all I do to relax is:
a) look at the blackness (closed eyes, looks like starry skies) and try to believe I'm looking at the milky way.
b) think about my home reality, just faces of my loved ones, and nostalgia inducing images.
c) Affirm, but don't focus entirely on affirming, usually in the back of my mind I'm repeating "I have shifted to my home reality" "I have shifted my senses to my home reality" "I have stopped sensing the void reality" "I am smelling, tasting, feeling, hearing and seeing my home reality" no other fancy affirmations required. (Now that I think about it, you need to affirm NOW because this method has two phases, one where you are shifting, and one where you have shifted, and you are in the 3D, where you are occupying your DR self, their thoughts, and memories, and popular method usually only have one phase, either you are shifting, or have shifted. So my point is if you affirm later and you'll be affirming when you're supposed to be in your DR, and obviously, your DR self won't be spouting out affirmations about shifting to a random reality for no reason.)
During this time, you'll feel tingly all over. It's a good sign.
And you'll feel a certain detachment, like you aren't exactly here, you have no idea what position you're lying in, and where your feet are. (Please, for the love of God do not start counting your feet or get freaked out that you can't feel your leg, you'll come back to the void reality.)
So you can start the next phase.
Middle phase (optional):
To prepare for the next and last phase, you can do this to get ready, or don't (First read the third phase)
This is all about connection to your DR.
Think about memories from your DR, focus on the faces of your loved ones, the way you act, talk, your mannerisms in your DR, or you can simply say affirmations like these one:
My name is ___.
I work as a ___.
My age is ___.
Don't try to imagine vividly or anything, lightly touch upon the basic details of your DR, the construction and foundation of any reality and the person, who has existed there for their entire life.
(That's you!)
Phase three:
Take a sudden, abrupt stop from your stream of thoughts. (Yes intrusive thoughts will still pop up but don't give any importance to them) when you're in a blank state of mind, not longer than 30 seconds, you need to build up to the last step of your shifting method, and journey.
a) start imagining hearing the voices of your loved ones or just any voice, calling your DR name, your nicknames, with different tones. (For example, i heard my name in an angry tone from my father when he was scolding me, I heard my name followed by a laughter when my S/O teased me.)
OK, for me, I started feeling intense, groundshaking symptoms at this moment. Sudden flashing of lights, extreme feeling of floating, and ofcourse, feeling tingliness so much that it felt like pins and needle on my entire body. (I did ignore the symptoms)
b) plan the rest of your day in your DR, which you will be spending.
AGAIN, PLEASE DON'T SAY IT LIKE THIS.
❌️When I reach my DR ❌️ I will have to go to that eye specialist for that appointment.
Instead: (and the more you personalize it, the better)
Ughhh, I have to go to that appointment- this day will suck.
(Don't mind my example, that was the only thing I could think of at the moment)
c) in this reality, you are constantly thinking of something, your thoughts are definitely what constructs this reality, and your current thoughts are affecting your subconscious. (By this point, your subconscious is grounded in your DR, so don't worry about that bastard.)
Now, you're going to start thinking, thoughts which are going on in your DR self's mind, start with one sentence, with which you'll be able to start consciously thinking like your DR self.
And think in the style, tone, and mood of your DR self, and keep the thoughts strictly related to your DR.
Thats it, but what happens afterwards? And what happened to me?
So for me, I started feeling weird while I was thinking.
And I remember I thought this:
"Ugh, I don't want eggs for breakfast."
(I'm not saying this is the key to shifting, at this point, I had covered various topics, including, weather, my upcoming work assignment, and praised my S/O for a good 5 minutes.)
And I started panting, like suddenly I was trying to catch my breath, the room felt bright, so I opened my eyes, and well, I was in my home reality :)
I was delirious for a few second, my S/O was looking at me worriedly, but surprisingly, it didn't even take me a minute to adjust, it felt all so natural and I wasn't scared.
I didn't even feel emotional, at all, and didn't hug my S/O with tears in my eyes, I straight up asked to be served breakfast, incase anyone was wondering.
So that's it.
Although i have much to say, I'm tired of writing, but I'm more than willing to answer each and every one of your questions, although I only have 7 hours left till I permashift, I'll remain mostly active till then.
And no, I'm not rereading this to fix my grammar, so just ask if anything confused you.
Ask away.
I'm still not sure if this'll reach anyone or not.
#shifting community#reality shifting#shifting motivation#shifting blog#shifting antis dni#shifting#shiftblr#shifters#permashifting#respawning#shifting methods#shifting stories#shifting success
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Painted Petals
chan x gn!reader x hyunjin
warnings: non-sexual nudity
genre: fluff
word count: 1.6k
author's note: the flowers look too much like something hyunjin would draw, i couldn't resist. special thanks to @jeonginsleftcheek for the help on getting a better idea for this 🤭💙 (if you saw me post this twice no you didn't)
masterlist
divider by @firefly-graphics
Chan loved keeping Stay on their toes, giggling to himself whenever he got the reaction he wanted when he texted something flirty on Bubble. His most recent source of entertainment was the entirety of Stayville trying to guess what was going to be painted on his back for the next performance of ‘Railway’ during the tour. It wasn’t easy coming up with all the motifs that were going to be stamped on his back, eliciting screams from the audience whenever his suit jacket started sliding down his broad shoulders.
“What about flowers to represent bruises or something?” – you offered from your place on his bed, still engrossed in your phone.
Chan hums in agreement. He’s gone through various words, bruises, rope marks and other symbols, so why not do something more delicate for once?
You earn a soft kiss on the lips for your help that escalates into something more, distracting Chan from his original plan for a while.
So for the second day of the concerts, he decided to get some help from one of his band members known for his beautiful art. Sheepishly, he came up to Hyunjin, already with an awkward grin on his face, heart thumping softly against his chest.
“So, Hyunjin, I was thinking…” – his hand came up to scratch at his neck in embarassment, the younger man in front of him perked up in curiosity.
“What if you painted flowers on my back…? I think Stay would like that” – he immediately had to chuckle at his awkward request but Hyunjin just tilted his head as he already tried to think of the best-fitting flowers for a performance such as his.
“Are you sure it’s only Stay that would like that?” – Hyunjin countered with a sly smile which elicited another shy laugh from Chan.
-
On the day of the show you, Chan and Hyunjin flee into one of the unoccupied dressing rooms of the arena after the two of them were done with all their makeup. You brought body-grade paint and Hyunjin’s brushes with you, so he could immediately start.
“Get naked, boy” – you excitedly giggle and tug at Chan’s tanktop before he takes it off, dragging a chair over to sit in front of the dressing room’s couch where Hyunjin was situated on.
“I was thinking we only do the right side of your back, the flowers creeping up from your lower back to the top part of your shoulder. What do you think?” – Hyunjin says as he sorts out his brushes and takes a closer look at all the paints you provided for him according to his shopping list.
“I trust you fully, Jinnie, do whatever you want, I’m sure it’ll turn out amazing” – Chan settles on the chair, his arms coming up to rest on the backrest. Hyunjin giggles shyly and nods, picking out the best color combinations for what he had in mind, before wetting his brushes and getting to work.
You lazily lay down on the couch across from them, watching the scene unfold in front of you with loving eyes. The concentration starting to form on Hyunjin’s face, causing him to furrow his brows slightly, his tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth as he starts painting the petals on Chan’s lower back, causing the older man to let out a high-pitched giggle because it tickles.
“You need to stay still, Channie” – you scold him softly from your place on the couch and he sticks his tongue out at you.
The three of you soon fall into a comfortable silence, Hyunjin too concentrated on his work, Chan relaxing under his hands and the soft feel of the brush against his skin and you constantly flicking your eyes between the screen of your phone and simply watching your boyfriends, your heart swelling at the sight.
Seeing Chan so relaxed makes you really happy, so used to seeing him work himself down to the bone or making sure that everyone was well-taken care of before even beginning to think of himself. Even if it was just for a small timeframe before an exciting concert.
Soon enough, Hyunjin tells Chan to get up so he could take a look at it from a distance.
“I like it” – Hyunjin smiles and gingerly grabs Chan’s waist to turn him around so you could take a peek.
He was very right to like it, the beautiful painted flowers fit him so well that you almost wanted to start convincing him to get them tattooed some time down the line.
“Oh my God, Hyunjin, they’re stunning! Woah…” – you stepped closer to the two of them, giving Hyunjin a quick kiss to his cheek, as careful as you could so you wouldn’t ruin his makeup.
“Yeah? Don’t leave me out, I wanna see, too!”
“Wait”, you giggle, “hold on.”
You snap a quick picture of the flowers on his back and show them to Chan, who is equally in awe of the flowers in various shades of blue creeping up his back.
“You know Stay are definitely going to figure out who painted these, right?” – you say as Hyunjin starts desperately trying to get the paint to dry with grand gestures in hopes the wind he produces quickens the process, looking goofy as ever.
“Is that so bad? Let them have some fun” – Chan grins and you roll your eyes.
“You’re gonna be the death of them some day, I swear.”
-
Post-concert exhaustion kicks in hard soon after a late-night dinner. You offer Chan to take care of washing the paint off, though the two of you are sad to see the artwork disappear from his back.
Sitting behind him in the bathtub, you start softly scrubbing at his skin, while your free hand caresses the expanse of his skin, massaging him here and there. The paint is resilient but eventually gives way, the flowers fading bit by bit. As each petal disappears, you kiss the clean skin it left behind, earning a hum from your boyfriend in front of you.
Eventually the entire artwork is nothing more than paint mixed in with the bathwater running down the drain, leaving you and Chan behind in an empty tub. You decide that your Channie deserved more relaxation, so you let the tub fill to a comfortable height and lean back with him in your arms, relaxing in the warmth of the water together.
“You did great today” – you praise him and kiss his temple gently and run your hands over his arms lovingly.
“I just did what I always did, nothing much.”
“Mhm, and what you always do is amazing, give yourself more credit. The audience loved it” – your hands wandered to his neck and started massaging him there.
“Did you love it?”
“Of course I did. I love seeing you have fun with the others on stage, kind of makes me wish I was an honorary member sometimes, just so I could have fun with you up there” – you tilt his head in your direction to kiss his nose softly and he lets out a giggle.
“If I could, I’d pull you up on stage at least for the Encore songs” – he lets his head rest back against your shoulder with a content sigh.
The two of you get interrupted by a hesitant knock and a curious ferret peeking his head into the bathroom.
“Place for one more..?”
At your nod, Hyunjin clumsily hurries to take all of his clothes off and joins you and Chan in the bathtub by slotting himself in front of you two, essentially sandwiching Chan between his and your body.
He lets his head fall to rest against Chan’s chest, his arms coming to circle around his waist, while you kept one arm tangled around Chan, the other hand coming up to tangle itself into Hyunjin’s hair.
“Are the flowers gone already?” – comes Hyunjin’s voice who you can tell is pouting already.
“Gone with the wind” – you sigh dramatically and he lets out an exaggerated sob, mourning for the flowers that were.
“You can draw on me anytime you want, you know” – Chan mumbles from the middle, the pads of his fingers pressing soothing patterns into Hyunjin’s skin.
It was bliss to have one calming evening amongst all the tour stress for the three of you, just basking in eachother’s presence and warmth, almost dozing off in the bathtub.
Chan, who was usually so high-strung and always on the run for something or for someone, also feels himself relax against his two lovers, arms around Hyunjin resting on his chest and his own head resting close to yours.
The threat of interruption of the daily stress in the life of an idol hangs above all of you, but for now, it feels a little bit like time has finally stopped running away so fast, letting you all bask in this soft moment.
-
When later you were all dried off, which was a process of great difficulty because at least one of your two boyfriends always got up to 'one more kiss please' or 'I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm just hugging you' while you were in the middle of dressing yourselves, you slipped under the covers of the enormous hotel bed.
You were probably going to get scolded by staff for going against the hotel arrangements but you didn't really care. All that mattered was Hyunjin and you clinging onto Chan in the middle of the bed like two koalas, completely immobilising him for the night, as you all drifted off to sleep after an exhausting day.
He wouldn't have it any other way.
-
taglist: @jeonginsleftcheek
#chan x reader#bang chan x reader#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader#hyunchan x reader#chanjin x reader#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#skz fluff#chan fluff#hyunjin fluff#bang chan fluff#hwang hyunjin fluff#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#hyunjin imagines#chan imagines#chan scenarios#hyunjin scenarios#chanjin fluff#hyunchan fluff
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Idk, I’m here drawing fanart and squishing the blorbos just like everyone else. It’s a misread of me to assume I’m some elitist art snob, I promise. I’m not at all interested in creating this hierarchy that you’re accusing me of inventing. Recognizing there are different categories of creation with different paradigms doesn’t mean one is superior over the other. They’re just different 🤷♀️
Like I said above, I’m talking about these specific disciplines where audience is a primary issue. I have seen zero pushback on the anti-audience posts going around and figured it was worth clarifying in these particular contexts how that perspective hampers, rather than supports, successful work. Yes, there are a lot of hobbyist artists here. There are also art students who, in my teaching experience, have zero idea they’re walking into a profession where they will be accountable for these issues. Those are the people I’m especially thinking about. Learning to think through your creative process and being articulate about it is a vital tool for professional-level work. That being true does not somehow make other paradigms of creative work lesser.
Also, for real, I’m no longer a capital-F Fine Artist. I left that shit behind because it wasn’t for me. All I’m interested in sharing is the language, perspectives, and tools I have to share from my experiences teaching and in the field. Like most professional fields, it’s about understanding the base assumptions and specialized language used by practitioners. As you’re a professional creative, I’m sure you too have things of value to share to help people interested in the field to better understand how the rhetorical sausage gets made. Advice on how things work in your realm doesn’t mean denigration of other fields. It’s just a different subset of knowledge of value to particular people.
Tumblr’s new fixation on “FUCK AUDIENCE!!!! MAKE WHAT YOU WANT!!!” is entirely opposite my training as an artist and a rhetorician and a science communicator
Just throwing some art into the void and expecting people to interact with it is some freshman art student who thinks they know everything energy. You are taking an action with the intent of some sort of intervention in the world. Pretending your work has no directionality, biases, and contexts that influence how and by who it is understood by is just sloppy and lazy work.
You’re free to make work that’s a fart in the wind. It’s good for you! Just don’t expect it to have meaningful impact and response.
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it's absolutely baffling to me how many people who consider themselves "allies", reblog posts that are like "in this house we love and support trans women!!", and put things like "terfs fuck off" in their bio, and yet when trans women start to criticize a media company for doing LESS than the literal bare minimum to include trans women in their content -- only having one notable transfem guest star and entire series with drag queens and very very little inclusion of trans women outside of that, but members who are trans and TME who are regulars in their content -- they start talking about how those trans women are "just trying to start a fight", or claiming that everyone involved with the company is a full on transphobe, or are "so terminally online that they think the lack of trans women in a web series actually affects them". and then if you look at the posts they're talking about it's literally just... reasonable criticisms about said company and how they present themselves and their content to their audience, and how more inclusion of trans women would be a step in the right direction for them. it's ridiculous.
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The more I waste my braincells thinking about Helluva, the more I lose interest in it. Doing laundry is more entertaining than Helluva. I have the feeling Sinmas will be the final nail in the coffin for me.
I am not going to watching season three because I like feeling something when watching shows. My face was like :| when watching Mastermind, I only felt emotion when laughing at the "heartfelt" moments or when Lucifer was mentioned. I will probably watch reviews of season three to kept up with the lore/worldbuilding for my Hazbin AU not the plot.
Blitz and Stolas' relationship becoming the main focus is my 13th reason. At least with Hazbin, there's multiple storylines that kept my attention. If there a character storyline I do not care for, I can yap about another one. Hazbin's season one is an overpacked rush mess with too many characters, but it gives me more to talk about.
Since Full Moon it has been back-to-back just those two characters, and it is a snooze fest. This is why I rarely make posts about Helluva unless a new episode comes out. They only thing I can talk about is those two, the other characters do nothing and are just cardboard cutouts. It does not help that most of them are linked to Blitz or Stolas. I would have enjoyed the shorts with the last three was not about Blitz. I am tired of Blitz as a character. I was neutral on him at first when I started watching the show but now, I just dislike him. Same with Stolas.
Now those two are living together and Stolas will probably start working for at IMP because he's a moral brokie. They will take up more screen time while everyone else will get breadcrumbs. This show is set in Hell because it is Hell to watch unless you are a non-man that enjoys yaoi that is burnt from being in the bad writing oven for too long. I swear the canon mlm ships are made with yaoi fans in mind and not for a people who are mlm and general queer audience but that is whole different discussion.
Helluva is slowly reminding me of Miraculous Ladybug because that show started going downhill when the writers dragged out the "Will They or Won't They " shtick for four seasons. I am not saying having a show about a core (romantic) relationship is bad but having other relationships (romantic, platonic, etc) and maybe some that is not linked to the core one will stop your show/comic/whatever from becoming a snoozefest.
Helluva was an alright show when season one. When the first half of season two had it hiccups but was still alright since Full Moon, I cannot even call this show a guilty pleasure or a bile fascination of mines. It is just lackluster and at worst, abysmal.
#helluva boss critique#helluva boss critical#helluva boss criticism#vivziepop critique#vivziepop criticism#vivziepop critical
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December 02: Wolfe Glick
00 │ 01 │ 02
“Welcome back to my channel,” streamer and PokéTuber Wolfe Glick said as he flashed his audience one of his cute smiles, “tonight we’re gonna do some Tera Raid battles…”
The cute hunk was in his recording room at his house, enjoying the heater blasting and warming up the winter air. He sat in front of his camera with his dual screen system on the desk in front of him— one screen showing Pokémon Violet and the other his chat. Wolfe had won scores of adoring fans due in part to his status as a world champion in Pokémon battling and because of his cute nerdy guy aesthetic. Still, it was obvious that he took care of himself, as was evident by his toned muscles that were barely visible beneath his tight tank top.
Wolfe got the game set up and began to read off the chat, thanking the donations that were starting to come in. He paused when he saw that a new username, HypnoGuy72, had posted a gif that looked like a spiral that was circling around in a mesmerizing manner into the chat that was continuously scrolling.
The man cocked his eyebrow in confusion as he stared at it, his muscles gradually relaxing as his jaw went slack.
As the rest of the comments popped up, the gif disappeared down the line and Wolfe snapped out of his daze.
“Whoa, um… sorry about that,” Wolfe muttered, shaking his head as he wondered just why he’d spaced out. He blushed a little bit and cleared his throat as he grabbed his pro controller. “Um, let’s go ahead and get started, shall we?”
As he played, Wolfe started to squirm a little in his seat, seemingly unable to stay still for some reason. The presence of his webcam, with its shiny glass eye, weighed heavily on the streamer’s mind unlike ever before, and the more the chat spoke up, the more Wolfe began to feel some sort of giddy excitement.
Obviously, Wolfe loved to stream, which was why he followed down this career path, but he’d never felt his heart race so heavily in his chest before… nor had he ever gotten so rock hard on stream before.
Wolfe flinched when he felt his cock plump up to its full size, thankful that it was hidden underneath his desk. His heart raced even faster, and Wolfe even had to wonder if it was because of embarrassment or excitement.
For some strange reason, the streamer felt a foreign exhilaration at the thought of being hard on stream. He wanted to try his best to ignore it and try to finish the stream, forcing himself to play the game before him.
“Um, so we can go ahead and face this six star raid— Ooohhh.” Wolfe’s eyes widened to the size of saucers as he broke off mid-sentence, bellowing out a low moan. He winced when he finally registered that one hand held his pro controller, while the other thumbed a hard nipple.
Wolfe felt his face turn bright red as he realized that not only had he just played with his nipple on stream for all of his followers to see, but he’d also enjoyed it as was evident by his hard cock.
“What the hell is up with me?” he muttered under his breath before turning back to face the camera full on, again, his heart racing once he was on-screen dead on. “Um, yeah, sorry about that guys…”
He trailed off when he heard the pro controller clatter onto the hard desk. As if they had a mind of their own, both of Wolfe’s hands moved on their own accord up towards his tank top. They roughly yanked on the neck hole to bring it downwards so that his plump pecs were entirely exposed. He didn’t know what was going on, but as soon as his hands latched onto his sensitive nipples for the stream to lust over, all Wolfe could do was moan loudly.
Wolfe tried to tell himself to stop, but the more he saw the chat respond, the less control over his actions he appeared to have.
The stunned hunk felt himself raise one arm, flexing a sizable bicep for the camera. He inwardly screamed as he felt himself lean forward and lick it seductively, moaning loudly for everyone watching. All the while, his other hand still toyed with his nipple.
Wolfe felt as if he were a puppet tied to strings, and someone other than himself was in charge of his actions. He desperately tried to stop feeling himself up on camera, but the more he saw people logging in to watch his stream, the more intense his impromptu show turned.
The bewildered hunk tore his pants and boxers down as he scooted his chair further back to allow his hard cock to bob in the air for everyone to gawk at. Despite his inner panic, Wolfe felt a smirk form on his handsome face.
With one hand, he reached down and wrapped a fist around his throbbing cock and began to jerk it off on camera. With the other, he reached behind himself, sliding a few fingers between his plump cheeks to play with his tight hole. His face twisted into a visage full of utter pleasure and joy as he pursed his thick lips and let out moan after slutty moan.
As he pleasured himself, Wolfe’s body decided to up the ante as it began to bounce slightly on his intruding fingers. Each movement shoved his invading digits further into his sensitive hole, eliciting more hungry moans from the slutty stud. Each impact caused his pecs to bounce a little and he couldn’t stop the little shimmy he added to his waist that caused his cock to wag tantalizingly in the air. Everything he was doing was for a show, and although he was aware of all that he was doing, Wolfe was powerless to stop any of it.
Deep down, Wolfe begged himself to stop, but he wasn’t in control of his body. Worse was that a growing part of himself was loving showing off in such a sexual manner on camera for his thousands of followers to lust after. There was a growing part of him that was excited to be naked and jerking off like a camboy whore for all to see, and that thought made his cock throb even more.
The chat exploded with donations and cheers from men enjoying the show, many of them subscribing in the hopes that there’d be more to see. Wolfe was too caught up in pleasuring himself that he didn’t see HypnoGuy72’s new comment flash upon the screen:
That little spiral hypnotized the poor stud into becoming a camwhore. He can’t help but act like a gay slut whenever he’s on camera now!
“Uunghh!” Wolfe squealed as his cock shot out streams of cum that landed all over his chest. He panted as he tried to catch his breath, his pecs heaving with the motion.
The dazed streamer struggled to piece together what had just happened. Deep down, he was humiliated over his seemingly uncontrollable actions, but there also existed a large part of himself that had loved the whole experience.
He’d loved it so much that, despite having just came, his cock was already rock hard all over again as the naked stud sat in front of the camera.
He smirked again. “Ready for Round Two?” he asked his followers, as he began to thumb his hard nipples again.
#advent calendar#TF#ultram0th#Wolfe Glick#straight to gay#himbo#himboification#himbo tf#hypnotized#hypnosis
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while you're obviously not making an angry, nonsense post like that person is lying about, i honestly think you have the right to be angry and you would be justified if you were being harsh. i understand coming at dropout from a good faith perspective but from what i've seen (or rather, haven't seen), their lack of inclusion of transfems is painfully obvious and shameless. and you probably already know you and every other trans woman has a right to be angry about this, but i wanted to say it.
to be honest i agree! a lot of people across the world might not know this, but there is so much transfeminine talent in LA that it is frankly absurd that they never had anybody as a permanent fixture of the show from day one. and now it’s been years and even though Dropout is much much bigger there has been (if anything) even less transfem people on than there used to be. the amount that Dropout conflates drag queens with trans womanhood would be enough to get really angry about imo, but i’ve been specifically trying to stay measured so that nobody can accuse me of being this angry hysterical bitch making everything about her… and yet that’s what happened anyway. curious, eh? it’s almost as if Dropout has curated an audience who don’t want to listen to trans women’s voices 🤔 I wonder how that happened….
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Stagelight AU
A modern music Lamplight adjacent AU. (Lamplight adjacent in that it uses the loose format of: guy who is powerful and can't talk + guy who will do anything for him). Thank you @liloinkoink @martynsimp69 @ilexdiapason @kingtheghast @honey-daisies and Bird for collective brainstorming this with me <3
Let's meet our guys in this AU!
Martyn is an aspiring musician, previously with the band EVO (though he left when the band signed with Watcher Records). Years later, he now works a pub called The King's Head, but attends the open mic nights hosted by The Burning Lantern down the road. He begins noticing a reoccurring audience member.
That reoccurring audience member is of course Ren Dog. An older man wearing sunglasses at every open mic night. He always sits through Martyn's performances, sometimes he leaves right after, sometimes he sticks around for a while, but he is always there when Martyn plays. Except that one time Martyn played an old rock song from Red King, the guy had left in the middle of that performance, odd.....
And that's where it starts.
Martyn, of course, immediately has his interest piqued. Originally, because there was a very attractive man staring at him intently, but afterwards because of the mystery. Who is this guy? Why does he only leave after hes had a chance to hear Martyn's sets? Why does he never come up and say something? Martyn is aware he's an attractive guy, and the musician look really does it for a lot of people, so he's no stranger to an audience member coming up for a chat after his set.
This guy never does though, so Martyn ends up taking the matter into his own hands. So he devises a little trap. If that man always waited for him to play, then how about using that to his advantage? Trading out his electric guitar for acoustic that night, Martyn delays his set until he is the last act of the night. The moment his last note finishes ringing out from the stage, he sprints down the steps to introduce himself.
Ren though does not react well to this situation at all, staring at Martyn in startled silence and before turning and walking away without a single word.
He eventually finds out Ren's name by asking the employees of the bar. Imagine his surprise to learn that his name is Ren, just like the Renthedog account that has been consistently liking his posts on AUstagram. Even after the disastrous introduction.
So the next time he reaches out to Ren, he tries to take it a bit slower. Making eye contact from the stage, a little wave. Next time he tries to talk to Ren, instead of offering to buy him a drink, he asks if he can get Ren's AUstagram, and with a laugh Ren hands it over.
A flood gate opens from there. For all that Martyn has never heard Ren speak, he sure has a lot to say when it's in writing. They hang out from there, quickly becoming friends. When Martyn finds out that Ren straight up cannot speak, and it wasn't just shyness holding his voice back, he tries to ask why. Ren just gives the vague answer of:
Stage fright, all the world's a stage
Which doesn't really explain anything.
They have a comfortable, distant, but a bit flirty, friendship. Which is something that changes when Martyn finds the photo.
He finds it when cleaning out an old box of stuff. In a box full of high school knick knacks, one of the photos stands out. It's of himself and BigB, they must be 17 or 18, and they're standing with their arms thrown around eachother at some sort of music festival or concert. That's not what gives Martyn pause on it though, it's the singer performing in the background. The face might be obscured by makeup, and time, and the noise of an old photo camera, but its Ren. Martyn is absolutely certain Ren is the one singing in that picture. It clicks what band that is, Red King, BigB’s favorite. Ren, Ren was the lead singer of Red King.
With some digging, he finds out what happened. Red King, a three man rock band, with Lead Singer/Guitarist Ren Dog, Drummer Skizz Leman, and Bassist/Harmony Singer Scar Goodtimes, was one of the bands of all time. Sold out shows, huge tours, the works. Until it suddenly broke up over a decade back because of a scandal involving the lead singer, involving Ren.
Their tour had stopped where Ren's childhood friend Lizzie lived, famous actress Lizzie Shadow, Lizzie. They had been out for dinner to catch up and Ren was driving her home when he took a corner just a little too fast, the car skids, hits a tree, Lizzie's taken to the hospital and suddenly Ren finds his life crumbling around him.
Lizzie had been fine when the paramedics had arrived, told him it wasn't a big deal and that he didn't need to worry about any bad press from this. Cause why would she want to hurt her friend?
But somehow the press does find out, and the person who tipped them off implied that it wasn't a mutual understanding but instead a cover up.
Someone reports that he was drunk when they wrecked (even though he wasnt) and that gets picked up and run with. The constant pregnant rumors that follow Lizzie also get thrown in the mix and whispers of an affair (which again he wasn't, they weren't) get picked up as fact.
Ren figures out pretty quickly it was Scar who leaked the accident, the initial reports had too many details that he'd only told a couple of people. And when he goes to confront Scar about it? Well, Scar's always been able to put on a good performance, it's why Ren had brought him into the band in the first place. To have that acting turned against him though? Used to manipulate the flashing paparazzi cameras so that it looks like Ren is lashing out against his innocent band mate? It makes him wish he'd never met Scar.
The day after that fight with Scar is flooding across the tabloid, they still have to go onto the stage to performing their show.
Ren steps up on stage and sees a sight that will haunt him for the rest of his days. The giant venue, a sold out show, stands almost entirely empty. He tries to push on, tries to sing, but his words get absorbed into the empty silence. And on that silent stage is the last time Ren Dog speaks.
Lizzie speaks out and clears up the scandal after she's leaves the hospital, but its too late for Red King to recover. Skizz returns home to his family, Scar builds a solo career off the stinking corpse of Red King, and Ren fades into the obscurity of a normal, secluded life.
Martyn takes this knowledge and uses it to help Ren on his journey to gain back his voice. They are drawn together by music and fall in love. In the end, Martyn and Ren go on tour together, The King and The Hand, not to become famous, but to travel around and continue to find the joy in music together. Ren is back in the stagelight, but Martyn is the one in the spotlight, and Ren could not be happier for him.
PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT THIS AU IT MAKES ME INSANE AND I WANNA TALK ABOUT IT MORE!!! THERES SO MUCH MORE I COULDNT FIND A WAY TO FIT IN!!!
Where it started:
#please please please ask me about this AU theres so much i didnt mention#be insane with me#stagelight au#martyn inthelittlewood#inthelittlewood#rendog#renthedog#anpan writes#treebark#renchanting#renchanting duo
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…and that is how Hannibal Lecter became the first serial killer apprehended based on his ao3 posts.
Because you know that man has some unique quirks of speech and/or spelling that would give him away, no matter how many layers of VPNs he’d applied.
You simply could not speak seven languages, whilst being that much of pretentious prick, without having some unique linguistic quirks.
The question is, who figures it out first?
Freddie? (She seems like she’d be on serial killer rpf ao3, if only for audience research purposes.)
Or would it be Beverly? Is that what finally convinces her to believe Will about the whole “My psychiatrist is framing me” assertion?
Maybe the bit with the corpse of the muralist was just her double-checking what she already knew from ao3, and she just didn’t mention it because she really didn’t want to explain what she was doing at the Devil’s Sacrament.
Or was it Will, impatiently waiting for his invitation, and then trolling through the stories available with a mix of unvarnished horror and unacknowledged arousal until he finally finds the one he knows was written by the Ripper himself?
given the facts that 1) tattlecrime seems pretty popular, 2) will graham appears on it a LOT and 3) hannibal is both an avid fan, and also 4) familiar with the concepts of homosexuality and fanart (see: that drawing he did of will and himself as achilles and patroclus).........the natural conclusion is that hannibal is on ao3 in the serial killers RPF fandom, hardcore shipping will graham/chesapeake ripper
#hannibal crack#hannibal meta#hannibal lecter’s ao3 account#hannigram#hannibal#nbc hannibal#murder husbands#hannibal nbc#will graham#hannibal lecter#beverly katz#freddie lounds#tattle crime
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Brilliant Minds vs. 9-1-1
A True Lover vs. an Abusive Lover
A post from @bugboybuck about how Brilliant Minds is telling a queer love story (Wolf x Nichols) compared to 9-1-1 (Buck x Tommy) intrigued me. If anyone interested, here's a playlist of Wolf x Nichols' story on YouTube:
A. SIMILARITIES & DIFFERENCES
There are things in the Wolf x Nichols's love story which are similar with Buck x Tommy's of 9-1-1:
Dr. Josh Nichols (a.k.a. Nichols) is a gay man in his 40s.
Nichols is a military veteran, who survived the DADT era.
There's a period when Nichols didn't appear on screen.
Nichols broke up with Dr. Oliver Wolf (a.k.a. Wolf) when their relationship was still new.
Sound familiar?
And here's how Brilliant Minds is telling its queer love story better differently:
1)) Interactions between Wolf and Nichols are front and center. They're collaborating a lot in handling high risk medical cases. It helps that both Zachary Quinto (who plays Wolf) and Teddy Sears (who plays Nichols) are main casts, like Ronen Rubinstein and Rafael Silva in Lone Star. Thus, Wolf x Nichols' relationship is treated more like Tarlos' relationship than Tevan's.
2)) Wolf fought for their relationship. Brilliant Minds depicts Oliver Wolf as a genius and relentless doctor. Wolf does anything and everything for his patients. He broke a bunch of hospital rules, challenged the head of neurosurgeon (Nichols), took a patient out of hospital right before a scheduled surgery to grant the patient's last wish. Even when a patient gave up and wanted to die, Wolf didn't give up. Thus, when Nichols broke up with him, Wolf also didn't give up. He fought for another chance with Nichols.
Wolf's attitude is very much in contrast with Buck's. On episode 4x05, Athena has said that being Buck meant never give up. However, Buck's attitude after Tommy broke up with him is pretty much giving up their relationship.
3)) Nichols' presence could be felt even when he was not on screen. When Nichols had to attend a medical conference out of the city, his name was mentioned in conversations. Wolf had been sending him voice messages (Wolf didn't have a mobile phone), until finally Nichols sent Wolf a mobile phone as a gift. Wolf was also seen receiving a call from Nichols using his brand new mobile phone. Each of those scenes only last a few seconds, and Nichols was not physically present in them, not even his voice was. However, the audience could feel his presence, and feel that their love story is continuing.
How is this contrast with the way 9-1-1 treated Tevan? Oh, where should I begin? @do-androids-dream-ao3acc has posted signs that the show has undermined Tevan's relationship once Season 8 started, even before the break up:
Nobody ever mentioning Tommy, not even Buck.
Not one kiss in all of those episodes, except the fleeting cheek kiss in the break-up episode.
Six months and still no obvious inclusion of Tommy (back) into the 118 group, except when he was accompanying Buck who was waiting for Denny's surgery in the hospital.
After the break up, the signs are even more clear:
Buck was flustered when talking with a woman during his anniversary date with Tommy. Despite making Buck seemed rude and tactless, what is the actual purpose of this scene? It seems to remind the audience that Buck is still attracted to women, hence laying the ground for Buck's rebound relationships which most likely will involve women.
Buck didn't seem to mourn the break up. He was channeling his supposed brokenheart into baking, but he didn't seem to be grieving. He seemed anxious/upset when talking about Tommy, but not mourning or depressed. His demeanor even back to normal on the scenes when he didn't talk about Tommy, like on emergency scenes, or while watching Hotshots together with his team. Heck, Tevan fans have been grieving the relationship more than Buck has.
They made light the break up by having Buck baking. The show might want to emphasize the 'comedic' side of this supposed 'romcom'. However, it came off as tone-deaf since the audience was grieving more than Buck was.
People close to Buck seemed to want him to move on instead of to be back together with Tommy. In Season 7, Bobby said Tommy was good for Buck, and Henren asked Tommy about his intention with Buck. However, after the break up, no one seemed to talk to either Buck or Tommy about it. They even took Buck's phone away in one ocassion, prevented Buck from contacting Tommy and having a discussion with him like adults.
B. THE MIXED SIGNALS
Despite the above negative signals, the show has also been giving baits positive signs about the possibility of Tevan's reunion:
Buck is still in a baking frenzy because he is supposed to be still thinking about Tommy.
#TommybubblesBuck in episode 8x07 "Hotshots".
In a Screen Rant article, Tim Minear blatantly mentioned about the possibility of characters' return, including Brad and Tommy without promising anything concrete.
So far, we have been receiving mixed signals about Tevan's reunion:
If they haven't planned for Tevan's reunion, why did they show #TommybubblesBuck? It would be easier if they showed that Tommy went cold turkey on Buck.
If they've planned for Tevan's reunion, why didn't they made the 118 family showed more concern/support on the relationship? It would more make sense if Bobby/Hen/Maddie encouraged Buck to talk to Tommy.
If they have planned for Tevan's reunion, WHY DID THEY SEND MIXED SIGNALS AT ALL???
It is clear that Tevan's relationship is popular. Their kissing scenes went viral...twice, and the unusual amount of complaints about the break up indicates that even some parts the General Audience want them to be together. The queer love story has also attracted new viewers to the show, some of them are among us in this fandom. If they've planned for Tevan's reunion, there is no use in giving negative signals. It could even make people misunderstand and stop watching the show, thinking that Tevan has broken up for good.
Sending mixed signals becomes made sense when we realize that THEY ACTUALLY DIDN'T PLAN TO MAKE TEVAN REUNITED.
There's already one established queer couple on the show: Henren. Having another queer couple incures a risk of upsetting the majority of the audience. However, due to its popularity, making the break up permanent also incures a risk of losing a part of audience, who has been watching the show mainly for Tevan.
The safest way to keep most of the audience is by giving the majority what they want, while implying other things to the 'non-majority, but-quite-significant-in-number' audience. It is possible that they plan to do tommybaiting until near the end of this season, before finally showing Tommy up to bait the audience to watch the next season. After all, they've been baiting Buddie stans for 6 years and counting. They made Buck admired/envied Eddie's physique. They made Maddie teased Buck about his boycrush on Eddie. They made a stranger in Santa Clause costume thought that Christopher was Buck & Eddie's son. They made Buck Christopher's legal guardian, although insisted in an interview that it was a platonic gesture. They made Eddie showed up in front of Buck, right after TK implied that Buck was queer. They made Eddie talked about beard, right after he mentioned that he was straight. They made Buck sat next to Eddie in his underwear on 8x06. They've been giving mixed signals to Buddie stans all these years, to keep them watching & supporting the show, without ever making Buddie canon. They could apply the same strategy to a slightly different group of audience.
C. THE ABUSIVE LOVER
@hunter470 has pointed out how bad the show has treated Tommy and Tevan's love story overall. It is even more obvious when being compared to the way the show treated Brad Torrence, the fake captain of Hotshots. I hadn't fully comprehended how bad it was, until I watched Wolf x Nichols' love story in Brilliant Minds, then compared it to Tevan's. It is similar like being in an abusive relationship. You didn't know how bad you've been treated by 9-1-1, until you experience what a healthy relationship with Brilliant Minds can give you.
At this point, I'm convinced that only a risk of losing audience could move the show to make Tevan reunited. The rating of 8x08 "Wannabe" is better than 8x07 "Hotshots", so I don't know whether us boycotting the show would be effective or not. Probably not. However, I plan to keep boycotting, for the slight chance of it'll help making Tevan reunited sooner, and to retaliate their deceitful way of baiting more viewers by promising a properly handled queer love story.
#bucktommy#buck x tommy#buck tommy#tevan#kinkley#tommy kinard#911 discourse#911 abc#911 show#911 on abc#911 spoilers#911 season 8#911 wank#anti buddie#antibuddie#911 spec#911 speculation#thomas kinard#tommybubblesbuck#911#brilliant minds#brilliant minds nbc#brilliant minds spoilers#josh nichols#oliver wolf#wolfnichols#911 shit#911 critical#911 negativity
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teruko plays among us: episode 01 // two slots left
welcome to our first ever episodic situation! in this format, there is going to be one constantly evolving situation, and you (the audience) must guide whoever the main character is through the situation... or just help me decide what happens next. i can be quite indecisive.
more details under cut! but before you read that;
episode 01 (you are here) // next (08/12/2024)
i was losing steam for this blog so i needed something incredibly silly to reignite my interest in drawing fuit gumies. mongy monday stream binging helped me survive the month of november so "drdt characters playing modded among us" it is! modded for the extra flavor (specifically the mod "town of us").
i think i know the gist of how to write everyone, but everyone is still going to be sillier than usual. for comedy. whether i am actually funny or not remains to be seen. you may, however, notice that xander isn't addressing people with "mr" or "ms". it's because i determined that he would be less formal with everyone if he spent enough time with them in a non-hostile setting. and the fuit gumy blog is clearly a non-hostile setting!
every character not in this comic (except mai because i can't write her YET) is already in the lobby. i have decided everyone's roles, and have a vague idea of how the game will go. i'll mention this again in the next episode, but your objective is to make teruko win the game. what exactly this entails is a secret for now, but keep that in mind! also, due to the nature of among us, certain characters are going to sabotage her journey.
every poll will last 3 days as a nice balance for time to vote and time for me to draw the situations!
also, it is now officially december. i am indeed free, but about the blog......... posts are now twice a week (on weekends!), and the inbox is open again! i'm not confident that i can do daily posts even though i am theoretically free, as i have too many ideas i want to try doing this month. i'd like to return to daily posts one day, but this is not the time yet.
lastly, i hope everyone has fun with the episodic situations! trying something new is always scary, but i want to think it's always worth something :>
#danganronpa despair time#drdt#fuit gumy art#episodic situation#teruko plays among us#xander matthews#rose lacroix#arturo giles#nico hakobyan#levi fontana#min jeung#teruko tawaki#veronika grebenshchikova#hu jing#monotv
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Calling for help from any kind fandom citizen, I have a survey of which I am in dire need of responses for school.
So if you could answer this short survey below, it only takes like, 2-3 minutes minimum, thank you so muchhhh ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Audience's Perception on AI-Generated Works
I'll be accepting free fic commissions for responses
Reblogs are appreciated(on my knees for em)
Some tea abt why I made this survey, the very polite beef i have with my instructor, and details on the fic comms underneath
Ok, so like, long story short, our professor assigned us to make a short survey about anything related to technology and stuff like that. I figured i'd make something related to AI art, bc yknow, at least I'd be somewhat interested in the topic.
And btw, I like to say our prof is a nice guy, reeeally, but he's also, VERY pro AI, for anything. I've gotten into soft debates on that whenever there's presentations in class, and he keeps dismissing me. "Its progress" he says, and doesn't really listen whenever I talk further about it. SO, in addition to this being for my grade(smthn important, im sure), i'm also doing this to nicely shove the opinions of the crowd into his face.
So if some of the questions sound passive aggressive, please dont mind it, as he is going to be part of the editor, and I want him to see it.
also Twitter is the only thing im deadnaming, so if thats a gamechanger for you, I apologize in advance
ALSO, my extremely kind and benevolent instructor whom I just TRULY adore with all my heart (no im not gritting my teeth), have decided that it should have a minimum of 150 respondents to even be counted, a funny condition when he gave us like, barely 2 weeks but ok.
I've sent this out to people in my school and general friends more than a week ago, but I'm still lacking at LEAST 90 responses. (They suggested it was my topic that was the issue. BORING they said I just-) I only have a day or so to get more people.
SOOOO to sweeten the pot and as a form of apology.
Everyone who answers this survey can write down in their reblogs or replies a ship/prompt they'd want me to make a fic. 3 with the most popular votes gets written. Just write down the name/alias you've written in the survey with ur replies.
Minimum 2k words for each fic. It shall be posted by the end of December or early January on ao3
YES even nsfw ones, but you'll have to clarify it if it wins(im gonna be shocked if its something i truly cannot write about tbh)
I figured this is a fun way to force myself back into the writing scheme tbh. I have written some concepts before, like the AU's I had pinned, and some drabbles, but so far none that really stuck so meep
I would prefer its a fandom or ship im currently fixated on/know about, like Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Owl House, Orv, Epic, etc.
#I am BEGGING#answer a survey for 2 minutes and get to send a fic request for me to write fr#everyone who answers gets a new years boop from me#bloopnik rambles#survey#school survey#google forms#school#academic#fanfic#artificial intelligence#fanfictions#fanfiction#ao3#archiveofourown#fic prompts#fic gifts#free commissions#bloopnik writing#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel ships#helluva boss#helluva boss ships#radioapple#appleradio#hazbin hotel fanfiction#fanfics#fic request#epic the musical#survey-fic exchange
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i love you, in every time ࿐‧₊ 2003 - who are we to fight the alchemy?
chapter summary: Things are back to normal at the X-Mansion, other than the new, permanent addition of Logan. But he's not here for anything other than you.
word count: 18.1k+ (total 36.6k+)
pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader
notes: honestly, i got carried away with the slow burn, and i genuinely mean that cause how is this just 36k+ words of pure fluff?? i think i just clogged myself up with so much pain and angst that i needed nothing but happiness???
also, this is only part 1, it was meant to be one chapter but since it was 36k+ it didn't fit in one post, so go read the next chapter for the full story!
(if you want easier access, you can read the chapter on ao3)
warnings/tags: fluff, reader is a mutant with time manipulation powers, reader wears glasses, shy!reader, logan pining, soft!logan, slow burn (like... slow. burn.), one bed, brief sickness, brief insecurities, almost too much fluff holy sh-, reader has slight backstory, mention of twirling hair, brief injury
series masterlist - chapter 7 → chapter 8.5
The students walked out of the classroom, chatting amongst themselves until there was only you and the sound of you straightening the stack of papers in your hands before walking out yourself.
You stepped out of the classroom, the chatter of students fading behind you as you turned right, eyes down on the stack of papers in your hands. Only to bump straight into someone, the impact making you look up, surprised to find Logan standing right in your path.
“Whoa there,” he murmured, catching you by the arms just long enough to steady you before letting go, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Guess you’re still not watchin’ where you’re going.”
Your cheeks warmed, and you mumbled, “Sorry, Logan. Lost in thought, I guess.” You gave a small, self-conscious smile, unsure whether to meet his gaze or look anywhere but at him.
Logan’s eyes softened as he took in your flushed expression. “Not a problem,” he said, his voice unusually gentle. He nodded to the papers you were holding. “You really take this teaching thing seriously, huh?”
“Well, yeah,” you replied, shrugging with a shy smile. “I’m kind of… the physics teacher, so I have to.”
A low chuckle escaped him. “Right. Wouldn’t want to let the kids think they could slack off, now would ya?” His eyes lingered on you for a moment longer than usual, something warm and thoughtful in his gaze. “Never took you for the shy type, though,” he said, almost to himself.
The comment caught you off guard, and you raised an eyebrow, trying to make sense of the meaning behind it. “Is that a… problem?”
“Nah,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “Actually… kinda nice.” His voice softened as he added, “Makes you different. But in a good way.”
For a moment, you stood there, unable to quite find the words to respond. Logan didn’t often compliment people, and even if he did, it was usually with a dry remark and a half-smile, not this almost tender edge. You felt your heart skip, but the butterflies in your stomach were quickly interrupted as a few students walked by, nudging each other and glancing at you and Logan with barely disguised amusement.
Logan seemed unfazed by the sudden audience, though. He just glanced at them with a raised eyebrow, making the students scurry off with stifled laughs.
“They’re onto you,” you said, amused despite yourself.
“Oh yeah?” He tilted his head toward you, his smirk widening just slightly. “And what exactly are they onto?”
“That you’re… softer with me,” you admitted, a bit nervously. “I mean, you’re usually not, well, nice.”
Logan let out a small huff of laughter. “Maybe I just don’t see the point in givin’ you a hard time. ‘Sides,” he leaned in just a fraction closer, “I’ve got my reasons.”
You couldn’t hide your flush this time, the intensity in his gaze making it hard to form any coherent response. He looked like he wanted to say something more, but then Jean’s voice rang out from the hallway, breaking the moment.
“Y/N! Hey, do you have a second?” She sounded friendly, as usual, but there was a flicker of something else in her tone—an undercurrent of urgency that made you glance over.
You cleared your throat, stepping back from Logan. “I should… probably go.”
Logan nodded, but you noticed the way his hand brushed against yours, lingering for a moment longer than necessary before he finally let you go.
Jean approached, offering you a warm smile that turned curious as she looked between you and Logan. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything,” she teased lightly, though her expression wavered slightly. Her eyes seemed darker somehow, a flicker of something you couldn’t quite name.
“No, no, you’re not interrupting,” you said quickly. “Logan was just… giving me a hard time.”
Logan rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. “Yeah, sure, make me out to be the bad guy.”
Jean laughed, though it sounded slightly forced. “We all know that’s not true, Logan.” She turned to you with a softer expression. “Walk with me? I had a question about one of the classes.”
You nodded, giving Logan a small, shy smile before walking off with Jean. You could feel his gaze lingering on you as you walked away, though you didn’t dare look back.
Once you were out of earshot, Jean sighed, a thoughtful look in her eyes. “You know, he’s really different around you,” she observed quietly. “I mean, he cares about all of us, but… it’s different with you.”
You felt a pang of curiosity mixed with uncertainty. “Different how?”
“It’s hard to explain,” Jean said, pausing for a moment as she thought. “It’s like there’s a part of him that comes alive only when you’re around. A gentler side.”
“Logan? Gentle?” you asked, laughing a little despite yourself.
Jean’s expression turned somber. “You’d be surprised.” Her gaze flickered with something that seemed… almost ominous, though it passed quickly. She offered you a reassuring smile, but there was still a hint of tension. “Just… be careful, okay?”
You frowned, taken aback by her shift in tone. “Careful of what?”
Jean shook her head, waving off the question. “It’s nothing, really. Just… I think he cares about you a lot more than he lets on.” She hesitated, then squeezed your hand lightly before heading down the hall.
You stood there for a moment, trying to piece together her words, her cryptic expression, and the tension that seemed to hang in the air, almost like a storm was waiting just beyond the horizon.
---
Logan hadn’t stayed long enough before to know what normal days were like at the mansion. Now he did. After classes, students filled the halls with laughter and chatter, some rushing off to the next thing, while others wandered outside. He watched as they sprawled across the lawn, huddled over comics, or playfully sparred with their mutant powers, while others claimed the common room and TV with that strange, easy camaraderie that he hadn’t known in a very long time.
And, he realized, it wasn’t so bad.
He was leaning back against a wall in the hallway, lost in thought, when he spotted you walking toward him, papers and a thermos tucked under one arm, your focus somewhere else entirely. His lips quirked up as you grew nearer, completely oblivious to his presence until he let out a low whistle, causing you to stop short, looking up at him with that small, startled smile he’d come to recognize—complete with a glossy shine to your lips.
“Deep in thought there, aren’t you?” Logan’s voice was a mix of teasing and warmth as he raised an eyebrow, watching as you took a quick, steadying breath.
You gave a shy laugh, a flush heating up your cheeks. “Sorry, I was just… thinking about today’s class.” You shrugged, gaze darting away briefly, only to return to his with a shy, half-curious look that gave him pause. “The students had questions about particle physics, and I… well, I didn’t expect so many, honestly.”
Logan’s smirk softened as he watched you. “Not surprised they keep you on your toes. You get all animated when you’re in teaching mode.” He leaned in slightly, voice dropping to that low, familiar tone that always seemed to linger just for you. “Must be why the kids don’t skip your classes.”
You chuckled, rolling your eyes as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Oh, sure, I’m just the highlight of their day.”
“Yeah, don’t sell yourself short, Y/N.” Logan tilted his head, his gaze holding yours just a moment longer than necessary. “You’re kinda the highlight of mine.”
Your heart skipped, and for a split second, you couldn’t quite meet his eyes. You mumbled, “You’re… not so bad yourself, Logan,” giving him a soft smile that seemed to settle his expression into something gentler than usual.
Before either of you could say more, Kitty zipped past, phasing halfway through the wall and glancing between you two with a cheeky grin. “Just passing through! Don’t mind me,” she called over her shoulder, sending a wink your way.
You felt your cheeks heat up, but Logan just shook his head with a slight, bemused smile. “Kids,” he muttered.
Still flustered, you cleared your throat. “So… got plans for the rest of the day?” you asked, attempting to regain your composure.
“Thought I might head down to the Danger Room,” Logan replied, eyes twinkling slightly as he glanced at you. “You’re welcome to join me. Unless you’re too busy grading.” He nodded at the stack of papers under your arm.
Your laugh was soft. “Grading or Danger Room training? Such a tough choice,” you said, your voice teasing. “Guess I could spare an hour.”
Logan’s smirk turned into a full, almost mischievous smile as he straightened up, giving you a nod. “Good answer.” He turned and started walking toward the elevator, his stride easy and sure, and you followed, still clutching your papers but already half-forgetting about them.
As you both walked through the main hall, a few younger students glanced at you and Logan, exchanging knowing glances and whispers. The whole mansion seemed to have picked up on this unspoken…something between you and Logan, and though no one dared say it aloud, you couldn’t quite ignore the amused glances.
In the elevator, you finally dared a glance at Logan, noticing the faint grin on his face. “I think the kids are starting to make bets on us,” you murmured, half-embarrassed.
Logan raised an eyebrow, giving you a sideways glance. “Oh, yeah? What’re the odds?”
You laughed softly, shaking your head. “I’m not sure, but I have a feeling they’re rooting for you.”
“Smart kids,” he replied with a wink.
Your heart gave an involuntary flutter at the easy way he teased you now, each small interaction charged with a warmth and a familiarity that you were still getting used to. Yet, there was something else too—an intensity in his gaze that lingered, something that spoke of memories and past lives you didn’t know you shared. It made you wonder, in quiet moments, just how long he’d felt this way, as though you were a mystery he was determined to keep close.
When you arrived at the Danger Room, he shot you one last playful glance before stepping inside, holding the door open for you like it was the most natural thing.
You hesitated at the door, glancing over at Logan with an uncertain smile. “I’m not sure if I’m the best partner for this,” you said, shifting your weight as you adjusted the stack of papers in your arms. “I don’t really know how to fight.”
Logan shrugged, his lips curling into an easy smirk. “Well, that’s why I’m here, isn’t it? To teach you.” He stepped inside and gave a nod for you to follow, his expression softening as he watched you. “Besides, with that time-bending power of yours, you don’t really need to know how to throw a punch, do you?”
You chuckled, shyly pushing your glasses up on your nose. “Yeah, but it’d be nice to do more than just freeze people in place. You know, in case I need it someday.”
He nodded, his gaze lingering on you, warm and a bit amused. “Good point. Never hurts to be prepared.” He walked over to the center of the room, beckoning you forward with a slight tilt of his head. “Alright, Y/N, let’s see what you’ve got.”
You hesitated for a second, clutching the stack of papers and your thermos, until he chuckled and reached over, taking them from you. “I’ll hang onto these. Can’t have you distracted,” he said, setting them on a nearby bench. His hand brushed against yours, and the warmth of his touch sent a shiver up your spine. You looked up, catching his eye, and felt the now-familiar flutter in your chest as he held your gaze, a slight smile playing at the corner of his mouth.
“Alright,” he started, gesturing for you to follow him to the center of the room. “First lesson in not gettin’ hurt—learn to dodge.” He flashed a quick grin. “Figured we’d start there, since, y’know, might keep that pretty face of yours from getting bruised up.”
You couldn’t help but smile, nervously adjusting your glasses as you let out a soft laugh. “Dodging sounds like a safe place to start,” you agreed, glancing around the room, which hummed with potential energy, screens and obstacles waiting to spring to life at Logan’s command.
“Good.” He took a step closer, his gaze flickering over you with a warm familiarity, one you couldn’t quite place but found oddly comforting. “Just follow my lead.”
With that, Logan gave the signal, and a few small projectiles began to emerge from hidden panels along the walls, firing in your direction. They weren’t dangerous, just enough to test your reflexes. You shifted, trying to move away from them as they came, but missed dodging a couple, barely able to sidestep in time.
Logan let out a low chuckle, stepping in to help as he guided you with a gentle hand on your shoulder. “You’re overthinkin’ it,” he murmured. “Trust yourself—move with the flow of things.”
The warmth of his hand sent a jolt through you, but his words were steady, grounded, like he was trying to give you a part of himself that made all of this seem so natural to him. You nodded, focusing on his voice rather than the projectiles, and found that dodging them came a little easier, your body moving in sync with his instructions.
“Good,” he praised, his voice softening as he stepped back to give you space. “See? You’ve got it. Just takes a bit of trust.”
You looked up, meeting his gaze. “I… guess it helps to have a good teacher,” you said, your voice quiet, but he caught the shy smile on your face, and his eyes softened, almost as if he was seeing something more than just you standing there in the Danger Room.
“Yeah,” he replied, that lingering look in his eyes returning. “Been waitin’ for this, believe it or not.”
Your brow furrowed, confusion tugging at you. “Waiting for what?”
He didn’t answer right away, just held your gaze, something unspoken passing between you both before he finally shook his head, breaking the tension with a smirk. “For you to stop bein’ so serious in class,” he teased, lightening the moment. “Takes a bit to get you to relax, doesn’t it?”
You felt your face heat, and you laughed softly. “Guess I’m still getting used to… all this.” You motioned to the Danger Room and then to him, and Logan nodded, his expression unreadable for a second.
“Don’t worry, darlin’,” he said softly, that nickname slipping out as naturally as if he’d used it a hundred times before. “We’ve got time.”
Before you could ask what he meant, the Danger Room doors opened, and Scott stepped inside, eyebrows raised as he took in the sight of you and Logan standing close, with you looking flushed and Logan wearing a rare, softer expression.
“Didn’t know you were takin’ up teaching, Logan,” Scott remarked, a hint of a smirk in his voice.
Logan just shot him a lazy glare, but you could feel the warmth of Logan’s lingering gaze on you even as Scott’s teasing drew your attention. "Someone's gotta keep ‘em on their toes," he replied, his voice gruff but playful.
Scott nodded, giving you a smile. “Well, keep it up. We could use more of that around here.” He nodded to Logan before leaving, leaving you alone with Logan again.
Logan let out a small chuckle, glancing at you. “Guess word’s out I’m takin’ the ‘soft’ approach with ya,” he said, his voice a bit lower as he took a step closer, his gaze settling on you with a steady intensity that made your heart race. “But maybe they don’t need to know everything.”
Your cheeks flushed, and you felt something pull you closer to him, something you didn’t understand but couldn’t deny. And Logan’s expression, a mixture of longing and patience, made you feel like he was waiting—waiting for a moment only he understood.
---
Logan had been looking everywhere for you—your room, the library, your office, your classroom, but he couldn’t find you. He finally walked into the kitchen, Scott was rummaging through the fridge while Jean and Ororo talked by the island.
“Have you seen Y/N?” He asked.
Ororo glanced out the window, “it’s raining,” she stated.
“And?” Logan frowned at the window, watching the rain trickle down the glass.
He barely caught the hint of a smile Jean gave as she said, “She’s outside in the back. Probably reading.”
Of course you’d be out there. He nodded a quick thanks, stepping through the back door and into the soft drizzle. A few steps down the porch, he spotted a faint light coming from the field. He walked across the grass, the rain matting his hair and soaking his clothes.
Logan stopped a few feet away, taking in the scene. You were sitting cross-legged on the damp grass, a book open in your lap, oblivious to the world around you. Above, raindrops hung frozen in the air, suspended like tiny prisms under the glow of your lantern. It was like you’d created your own little world, untouched by the rain.
“Interesting reading spot,” he said, his voice low but with a hint of a smirk.
You glanced up, startled, but relaxed when you saw him, pushing your glasses up. “I just… like being outside,” you mumbled, glancing away. “It’s quiet.”
He stepped closer, hands still in his pockets, the rain parting above him as he entered your time-slowed bubble. "Mind if I join you?" he asked, a hint of that rough charm lacing his tone.
You nodded quickly, shuffling over a bit. Logan sat beside you, his broad shoulders just inches from yours. He looked up at the still raindrops around you and let out a low chuckle. “Nice trick. Keeps the rain out and all.”
You bit your lip, glancing down at your book to hide the small smile creeping onto your face. “Just… didn’t want the pages getting wet,” you murmured. “Or my glasses fogging up.”
“Guess I’d never thought of glasses as somethin’ that needed their own bubble,” he replied, amused.
You finally dared to look up at him, meeting his gaze for just a moment before shyly looking away again. “You’re drenched. I didn’t… I mean, you didn’t have to come out here.”
“Didn’t have to,” he agreed, leaning in slightly, his shoulder brushing yours just enough for you to notice. “But I wanted to. Figured I should see what’s so important about readin’ out in the rain.” He glanced at the title of your book. “What’re you readin’?”
You held it up, realizing he was genuinely interested. “The Da Vinci Code,” you said softly, almost embarrassed. “I don’t really like it.”
He raised an eyebrow, “you’re more than halfway done.”
“I don’t like not finishing books.”
Logan gave a soft chuckle, glancing from your face to the book. "Guess that makes you pretty stubborn, huh?”
You shrugged, fiddling with the corner of the page. “It just feels… wrong to stop halfway. Like I’d be giving up on it.”
"Giving up, huh? I don’t see you as the quitting type.” He leaned back, resting his hands in the damp grass, completely unfazed by the rain still dripping off his hair. “So, what’s got you so unimpressed?”
You hesitated, then sighed. “I think it’s trying too hard. Like it wants to be smart, but it just feels… obvious.”
“Guess it’s good I didn’t pick that one up.” His lips curled into a grin. “You always pick out books you know you’ll hate?”
A quiet laugh escaped you. “No. But sometimes I get curious, and it doesn’t always pay off.” You glanced sideways at him, pushing your glasses up again. "Not like I expected you to be much of a reader, though.”
He raised an eyebrow. “And why’s that?”
“I don’t know…” you trailed off, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “You just seem like the… outdoorsy type?”
He gave a low chuckle, leaning a bit closer. “I’m full of surprises.” The warmth of his gaze lingered on you, holding your eyes just a second longer than you expected.
You looked away quickly, biting your lip. "Maybe you can recommend me something better next time," you said, feeling your cheeks warm under his stare.
“Oh, I’ve got some ideas,” he replied, his voice soft but teasing. "And maybe I’ll bring you a book worth readin’ in the rain.”
You hid another smile, turning back to your book. But Logan didn’t seem in a hurry to leave, just sitting there beside you, letting the quiet settle between you both.
---
“I rewired them and added a few more breakers. I think you should be all good now,” you said, standing up from the floor and dusting off your hands. “Jean?”
Jean looked up from the workbench she’d set up in the corner, an appreciative smile crossing her face. “Thanks, Y/N. I swear, some of this equipment’s older than I am.”
“Just needed a bit of extra care,” you shrugged, glancing at the exposed circuits. "Or maybe some serious replacement," you added with a grin. "Hopefully, that’ll keep it from sparking every time someone uses the projector.”
Jean chuckled, brushing her hair back as she leaned against the bench. "We’ll see. You’ve got the touch, though—half the mansion would be out of power by now if it weren’t for you.”
“Oh, come on, I’m sure Scott would’ve figured it out eventually,” you teased, earning a snort from her.
“Scott knows how to flip a light switch, but you?” Jean shook her head. “It’s like you speak machine.” She tilted her head, a hint of curiosity glinting in her eyes. “So… reading in the rain again?”
“Um… yeah,” you replied, pushing your glasses up self-consciously. “I like the quiet.”
“That I understand,” she said warmly, but then, for a brief second, her gaze flickered. Her smile stayed, but something in her eyes looked distant, almost… wary. The change was so subtle that you almost thought you imagined it.
“Jean?”
She blinked and the moment passed. “Hmm? Sorry, I spaced out for a second. Must be all those late nights.”
“Yeah, you’ve been pulling a lot of shifts,” you said, watching her closely. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Oh, you know… just the usual.” She waved a hand, brushing it off with a small laugh. “Professor’s been on my case about resting, but there’s so much going on.”
You offered a soft smile. “Maybe he’s right. You can’t be everywhere at once, Jean.”
Jean’s expression softened, a hint of something wistful touching her features. “Sometimes it feels like I have to be, though.” She looked down, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on the workbench. “With all that’s happening… it feels like I need to be ready. Prepared.”
There was a quiet intensity in her voice that gave you pause. “Prepared for what?” you asked gently.
She glanced up, her eyes meeting yours with an almost searching look. “I don’t know,” she admitted softly, but her tone had an edge of urgency. “Sometimes it’s like… there’s something inside of me, something I can’t quite understand. And it’s growing.”
You hesitated, then reached out, placing a comforting hand on her arm. “Whatever it is, you don’t have to face it alone, Jean. You’ve got me, the Professor… all of us.”
Her expression relaxed, and she covered your hand with hers, giving it a grateful squeeze. “I know. I’m lucky to have you, Y/N.” Her gaze softened further. “Sometimes I think you’re the only one around here who isn’t constantly asking if I’m okay, like I’m some fragile thing.”
“Well, you’re not fragile,” you said firmly, earning a grateful smile from her.
“Thanks, Y/N,” Jean said, her voice a little lighter now. “And if you ever want to get away from Logan’s constant staring contests, I’m always around.” She raised an eyebrow playfully.
You blinked, your cheeks instantly warming. “Logan? Staring?”
“Please,” she teased, laughter dancing in her eyes. “He’s been all over you since you got here. I mean, he’s not exactly subtle, is he?”
You tried to shrug it off, though you couldn’t help but feel a twinge of warmth in your cheeks. “I don’t know… I guess I just thought he was… friendly.”
Jean laughed softly, nudging your arm. “Friendly? Y/N, I think he’d growl at anyone who tried to interrupt your time-bending reading sessions.”
“I’m sure he’s like that with everyone,” you replied, though the thought made you feel unexpectedly flustered.
“Sure, everyone,” Jean said with a smirk. “Except… you’re the only one he follows into a storm just to sit beside in silence. I’d say that’s more than ‘friendly.’”
You bit your lip, looking down as you tried to stifle a smile. You’d always thought there was something about Logan that made him linger around you, but hearing it from Jean made it feel… different. Like maybe you hadn’t imagined the little moments he stayed close or the way his gaze seemed softer when he looked at you.
---
You didn’t like meetings, and while you preferred being in the Professor’s office with everyone else over a one-on-one, it didn’t mean you liked it. The Professor was going over a mission debrief, his gaze sweeping across the team. You sat a little toward the back, trying to keep a low profile. Logan, who had come in just a few minutes before, took a seat close to you, his usual habit of hanging back subtly pulling him toward your side of the room.
As the Professor continued, you felt Logan's eyes on you, but every time you dared to glance his way, he looked like he was concentrating on something far away. It was small things like this that always made you wonder—little, lingering looks or quiet moments in the hallway where he’d pass by just close enough that his presence was hard to ignore.
You did your best to focus on what the Professor was saying, but after a while, you felt Logan shift slightly, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms, relaxed yet distinctly attentive. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him watching you again.
Finally, you dared to meet his gaze, giving him a small, shy smile.
“What?” you whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear, still moving your pen back and forth between your index and middle fingers.
“Just wonderin’ what’s goin’ on in that head of yours,” Logan murmured, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Caught off guard, you blinked, feeling your cheeks warm as you continued twirling the pen in your fingers. “Um… just… listening,” you stammered quietly, not meeting his eyes.
Logan chuckled softly, his gaze steady. “Sure ya are.”
His tone held that familiar teasing edge, and you could feel him watching you even as you tried to refocus on the Professor’s words. The others in the room were paying attention to the debrief, but you had the odd sense that Logan’s attention was entirely on you, as if he could see through the quiet, reserved front you tried to put up.
Logan's teasing smirk lingered as you tried, and failed, to redirect your attention to the Professor's debrief. But as you continued twirling your pen, he leaned closer, his voice low enough that only you could hear.
“Y’know,” he murmured, “that pen-twirlin’ of yours is makin’ me a little anxious.”
You stopped mid-twirl, blinking up at him, feeling a surge of embarrassment. Before you could apologize, he wordlessly reached over and took the pen out of your hand. But he didn’t give it back. Instead, he held onto it, letting his fingers linger on yours, and then, almost casually, his hand slid down to hold yours under the table.
You tensed at first, your eyes darting around to see if anyone noticed. But everyone else was absorbed in the Professor’s talk, completely unaware. Logan’s hand was warm, grounding, and despite your nerves, you felt a small surge of comfort. Slowly, you relaxed, letting your fingers curl around his.
He glanced sideways at you, a small smirk still tugging at his mouth. “Better?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
You nodded, though you could feel your heart racing. Without your pen, you found yourself nervously tracing little patterns in the palm of his hand, letting your fingertips wander over the rough lines of his skin, tracing the knuckles and the faint scars along his fingers. You didn’t even realize you were doing it at first, just lost in the simple, steady motion.
Logan’s thumb brushed gently over your hand in response, his hold tightening slightly, and you swore you felt a quiet, satisfied hum rumble in his chest. Despite your shy nature, you couldn’t ignore the way he seemed to soften in these moments, as if he was just as reluctant to let go.
For the rest of the meeting, his hand stayed around yours, his thumb grazing lightly over your knuckles in a rhythm that was both reassuring and subtly flirtatious. You weren’t sure if he knew what his touch was doing to your already racing pulse, but from the quiet satisfaction in his expression, you suspected he did.
As the Professor wrapped up, some of the other team members glanced your way, but no one commented. Logan's usual stern exterior was unmistakably gentler, and a few of the younger mutants exchanged knowing looks, though they quickly looked away, perhaps sensing that it wasn’t something to tease you about.
When everyone started to disperse, Logan finally released your hand, slipping the pen back into your fingers with a slight, almost reluctant brush of his fingertips. He gave you a smirk, one eyebrow raised. “See? No need to keep spinnin’ that pen around.”
Your cheeks warmed as you fumbled with the pen, and you looked away, managing a shy smile. “Maybe I just need more practice.”
Logan chuckled, his gaze lingering on you as he pushed himself up. “Well, you know where to find me,” he said, his tone holding just a hint of something more. Then, with one last glance, he turned and headed toward the door, leaving you feeling like he’d stolen more than just a few minutes of your time.
---
Jones continued blinking, changing the channels on the small TV, until he landed on the nightly PBS station. Theresa huffed and folded her arms as you guided both of their focuses back to the cookies they had asked you to make with them.
"Okay, so, you take a little bit of the dough and roll it into a ball. It doesn’t have to be perfect," you said gently, showing Jones and Theresa the process with a small smile. Both kids looked on, wide-eyed and eager, Theresa’s fingers already sticky with dough, while Jones seemed more interested in sneaking bites than rolling.
“Like this?” Theresa asked, holding up her dough ball, which was more lopsided than round.
“Exactly,” you said, giving her an encouraging nod. “They’ll all taste the same anyway, even if they look funny.”
Jones looked from his misshapen dough ball to Theresa’s, smirking. “Mine’s better,” he teased.
“Oh yeah?” Theresa challenged, nudging him playfully. "We’ll see whose tastes better!”
You chuckled softly, gently placing both of their attempts on the tray. “Alright, let’s focus on making a few more before you eat all the dough.”
In the background, you caught a glimpse of Logan lingering by the doorway, half-hidden in the shadows. He leaned against the frame, arms crossed, watching the three of you with a quiet, almost nostalgic expression. You caught his gaze and gave him a small, shy smile, which he returned with a faint nod, his eyes softer than usual. It was a look you had started to notice more and more—a silent warmth reserved only for you, one that was almost protective.
Logan’s gaze stayed on you as you guided Theresa’s hands, helping her with another dough ball, and encouraging Jones to try shaping one like a star. You were so good with them, Logan couldn’t help but remember all the other times he’d seen you with kids in your past lives. You had always been gentle, patient, the type to make them feel safe and seen.
“Think they’re ready for the oven?” you asked, brushing flour from your hands.
Theresa and Jones looked from each other to you with eager nods.
“Yes!” Theresa chimed in.
“Finally,” Jones added, stifling a small grin as he looked at the tray.
You carefully put the cookies in the oven, setting the timer before turning back to the kids. “They’ll be ready in about fifteen minutes, so no peeking!”
Jones pretended to be exasperated but nodded, and Theresa let out a small, delighted squeal, her mind already on tasting the finished cookies.
Logan watched the scene quietly, noticing how natural this was for you. This wasn’t just kindness—it was something deeper, a warmth that drew people to you without you even realizing it. He could see why the kids adored you, why others in the mansion sought you out for comfort, and why his own instinct was always to protect you, to be near you.
As you turned to put away some ingredients, Logan finally stepped forward, his presence a little more obvious now.
“Didn’t know you were such a baker, Y/N,” he said, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips.
You jumped slightly, not realizing he’d come closer, and turned to see him just a few steps away. “Oh! Um… I’m not, really,” you replied, glancing down. “I just… Theresa and Jones wanted to make cookies, and I didn’t want to let them down.”
“Well, from what I saw, you did pretty good. They look like they’re havin’ the time of their lives,” he added, his gaze softer than usual.
Theresa, noticing Logan now, grinned up at him. “You’re just in time to taste them, Logan!”
Logan chuckled, crouching down to her level. “I wouldn’t miss it, kid.”
Jones, though pretending to ignore the adults, cast a knowing look between you and Logan. “Yeah, right. You’re just here to watch Miss Y/N.”
You felt your cheeks warm immediately as Logan gave Jones a look of amused surprise, lifting an eyebrow. “Watchin’ her bake isn’t as fun as watchin’ you two mess with the dough, kid.”
Jones didn’t look convinced, but Theresa gave a giggle, pushing her little fist up to her mouth. “Miss Y/N’s the best at baking.”
“Oh, really?” Logan said, his voice laced with humor, eyes back on you. “Didn’t know I was dealing with an expert here.”
You bit your lip, flustered by the attention and not quite sure how to respond. “I’m just… I’m just helping them. Nothing special.”
Logan stepped a little closer, his eyes never leaving yours. “Seems special to me.”
You quickly looked away, busying yourself with wiping down the counter, feeling your pulse race under his gaze. The way Logan looked at you was different—intense, as if he could see right through every shy attempt to brush things off. And though his usual gruff tone was still there, there was a gentleness that only seemed to surface when he was around you. It was impossible to ignore how your heart jumped a little every time he was near, or how his subtle flirtations left you more flustered than you cared to admit.
After a few minutes, the timer beeped, and Theresa and Jones jumped up in excitement.
“They’re ready!” Theresa squealed, bouncing on her toes.
You smiled, moving to pull the tray out, but Logan was faster, reaching over your shoulder to grab the oven mitts, his arm brushing against yours as he did so. “I got it,” he said, his voice low and close enough that it sent a shiver down your spine.
He pulled the tray out effortlessly, placing it on the counter with a smirk. “Better be good. Don’t wanna waste time tasting any duds.”
Theresa shot him a mock-scowl as Jones reached for a cookie. “You’ll love them, I bet,” he said confidently.
You watched as Logan took a cookie, biting into it with a skeptical look that quickly melted into a smirk. “Alright, kid, not bad.”
The kids cheered, and you couldn’t help but smile as Logan glanced your way again, a knowing look in his eyes.
---
Dinner was quiet, though technically an understatement with kids running around, to Logan it was. You were nowhere to be found, and although you occasionally came to dinner late, never this late.
Logan leaned back, eyes scanning the crowded dining room for any sign of you, brows furrowing slightly when he didn’t see you among the younger kids or the teachers.
“Maybe she’s asleep,” Ororo said, noticing Logan’s expression. “She was up half the night after Artie had a nightmare.” She rounded the table, pulling a reluctant Jones back to clear his plate while Theresa ran to help with the dishes.
Logan grunted a reply, shifting his gaze down the empty hallway outside. You were dedicated—more than most. You made sure the kids felt safe, even if it meant running on little sleep. He considered waiting it out, letting you get some rest, but something made him push back his chair and step quietly out of the dining room, deciding to see for himself.
After a few knocks on your door and no response, Logan checked the usual places but still didn’t find you. Finally, he spotted you in your office, forehead resting on your arm, glasses crooked as you lay slumped over your desk, papers scattered beneath you. The light cast a soft glow over the room, illuminating the stacks of student projects and physics diagrams you’d been grading late into the night. He sighed, leaning against the doorway for a moment, debating his next move.
With a quiet step, he entered the room and came to your side, noticing how your breathing was soft and even. Gently, he rested a hand on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “Hey,” he murmured, his voice low, “time to get you to bed.”
You didn’t stir, and Logan raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised. Usually, you were a light sleeper, sensitive to the slightest sound or shift. He tapped your shoulder a little firmer, but still, you didn’t wake. He huffed, a small, amused grin flickering over his face. “Out cold, huh?” he whispered.
At that moment, Jean appeared in the hallway, pausing when she noticed the scene. She tilted her head with a slight smile. “Want me to take care of it?” she asked, her voice hushed as she gestured toward you.
Logan glanced at her, giving a subtle shake of his head. “Nah, I got it.” He shifted his gaze back to you, his expression softening as he carefully slid one arm under your legs and another around your back, effortlessly lifting you into his arms. Your glasses slid a little, and he gently adjusted them, his face inches from yours as he whispered, “let’s get you somewhere more comfortable, alright?”
You stirred faintly in his arms, leaning your head against his chest with a quiet sigh but remaining asleep. Logan carried you down the dimly lit hallway, nodding to a few passing students who shot him curious looks, their expressions a mix of surprise and amusement at seeing him carrying you with such care. He ignored them, his attention focused solely on you.
Reaching your room, he nudged the door open with his boot, stepped inside, and carefully lowered you onto the bed. He removed your glasses, then began taking off your sneakers while glancing around your room. Logan had never been inside before, only ever coming as far as your door, and he was surprised to find it… bare.
There were a few essentials: a neatly stacked row of physics journals, a small, worn plush that looked like it had seen better days, and a tiny hourglass that caught the light in an odd way, giving off a slight, shimmering glow. The space felt like yours in some ways—quiet, orderly—but the walls were nearly bare, with just a single calendar marked with scribbled notes. For someone who had been part of the X-Men for a while, you hadn’t left much of yourself behind in this room, almost as if you were ready to leave at any time.
Logan brushed his fingers over the small hourglass, the delicate grains slipping through it in slow, mesmerizing intervals. It reminded him of you somehow—the way you seemed caught between moments, present yet not fully anchored, as though you were perpetually passing through.
As he adjusted the blanket over you, his hand lingered a moment, thumb brushing softly along your shoulder. You shifted slightly in your sleep, unconsciously leaning toward him, a faint smile ghosting over your lips. Logan felt a tightness in his chest he hadn’t allowed himself to acknowledge in years, a warmth that reached beyond the fleeting attraction he could brush off. This was something else, something that had lingered across time and lifetimes.
In the dim light, he could make out the subtle rise and fall of your breathing, the way a strand of hair fell across your cheek. It struck him how familiar this all was—the softness of your expression, the quiet trust in your sleep. He remembered a hundred small moments like this, times when he’d watched over you, sometimes even held you like this in his arms. He’d seen you fade away in all those lives before, but here you were, whole and breathing, even if you didn’t remember a single moment of those past lives. He was the only one who did, the weight of those memories settling heavily in his chest.
The door creaked, and Logan looked up to see Jean standing there, a soft smile curving her lips as she observed the scene.
"She works harder than most of us," Jean murmured, her voice almost reverent. “You don’t see her resting very often. Guess she trusts you, though.” There was a look in Jean’s eyes, something Logan couldn’t quite place, a flicker of warmth edged with something almost... distant, like she was there but not entirely present.
“She’d trust anyone if it meant looking out for the kids,” Logan replied, his voice low, glancing down at you before looking back at Jean. “Guess she pushes herself harder than she needs to.”
Jean nodded thoughtfully, crossing her arms, and for a moment, her gaze seemed to turn inward, distant. “She does,” Jean said slowly, “but there’s more to it, I think. She… well, it’s like she feels she has to prove herself, even if she’s already earned everyone’s trust.”
Logan’s jaw tightened subtly. That sense of needing to prove yourself, even when it was clear to everyone else that you’d more than done so, was all too familiar to him. He could see it in the way you volunteered for every duty, looked after every stray kid with barely a complaint, and stayed up late grading assignments, wanting to do right by everyone in the mansion.
Jean’s eyes softened as she took in the way Logan still watched you. “I’ll leave you to it,” she said softly, lingering in the doorway for a moment. She tilted her head, an almost curious look in her eyes. “She’s lucky to have you.”
Jean’s words lingered as she walked away, her footsteps fading down the hall. Logan let out a breath, looking back down at you with a mixture of tenderness and frustration. You’d been lucky in so many ways and tragically unlucky in others—dying each time he found you, leaving him with nothing but memories of those fleeting moments.
He brushed another stray lock of hair back from your face, his thumb lingering near your cheek as he spoke quietly to you, “One day… maybe one day, I’ll get to keep ya.”
After a moment, Logan gently placed the small hourglass on the bedside table, right where you’d see it when you woke up, before rising and heading toward the door. He cast one last glance back at you, reluctant to leave you alone even now. But he knew you needed the rest more than he needed to stay. Besides, he’d be just down the hall if you needed him.
---
There was one thing Logan had been wanting to know for some time—something that at times kept him up at night.
That damn glossy lip of yours. He knew it was either cherry or strawberry flavored, but other than that, he was clueless. It didn’t help that one of your nervous ticks, other than twirling your pen in hand, was rolling or biting your lip while in thought. Sometimes you bit your lip to try and hide a smile or laugh, like now, as he watched you and Jean walk down the hall.
“Empire Strikes Back is the best sequel ever made!” you declared, nudging Jean as you strolled down the hall together. “It’s everything you want in a sequel—a better story, more character development, actual stakes…”
Jean laughed, her eyes sparkling. “You do realize it’s just a movie, right?”
“Jean, please,” you said, feigning offense. “This is Star Wars. ‘Just a movie’ doesn’t apply.”
Jean held her hands up in mock surrender. “Fine, fine,” she said, suppressing a smile. “But A New Hope started everything! You have to respect the original.”
“I do,” you insisted, adjusting your glasses and smiling up at her. “But just because it came first doesn’t make it better. Empire has that… well, darkness. It’s iconic.”
Logan was a few paces behind, arms crossed, a subtle smile tugging at his mouth as he watched the back-and-forth between you and Jean. The way you grew animated when you were comfortable, your enthusiasm spilling over in debates like this, wasn’t something he saw often. There was a quietness to you, a gentleness—qualities that seemed to draw people in without you even trying.
It was no wonder the kids gravitated toward you, or why Jean looked at you like a sister she’d known her whole life. Logan found himself watching you more than he’d ever let on, his attention caught on those small, unexpected things.
“Fine, Empire wins, A New Hope second,” Jean conceded. “But I draw the line at Return of the Jedi. Those Ewoks were pushing it.”
You laughed, giving her a playful nudge. “I’ll give you that.”
Logan shook his head, stepping a bit closer. “Gonna let me in on this debate?”
You jumped slightly, turning to look at him with a surprised smile, cheeks coloring faintly at how close he’d gotten without you noticing. “Oh! Um… Well, we were just arguing the merits of Empire Strikes Back over A New Hope.”
Jean rolled her eyes. “Arguing is putting it lightly.”
“Some of us just have good taste,” you teased, looking at her before glancing back up at Logan.
Logan smirked. “Good taste, huh? Alright, which one’s your favorite then?”
Without missing a beat, you answered, “Empire. No contest.”
“Smart choice,” he said, his voice lower, eyes lingering on you a second longer than usual. There was a softness in his expression, an ease that wasn’t there with most people, like he was letting a bit of his usual guardedness fall away when it was just you. And it didn’t go unnoticed; Jean caught the subtle exchange, a knowing smile slipping onto her face, though she kept quiet.
“See?” you said to Jean, feeling a little surge of confidence with Logan’s agreement. “Logan gets it.”
Jean gave a mock sigh. “Well, I guess I’m outnumbered,” she said, looking between you two with a slight smirk. “I’ll just have to wait until I find a couple of people with my taste.” She shot you both a teasing look before starting down the hallway.
“I don’t think you’re gonna find any,” Logan called after her, making you chuckle.
You and Logan fell into step together, and you felt a little flustered, not entirely sure what to do with the silence that followed. Logan’s attention was a bit overwhelming—yet strangely comforting at the same time. He had a way of looking at you, like he was noticing details even you hadn’t paid attention to, and it left you a bit tongue-tied.
He gave you a sidelong glance, his expression softening. “Didn’t think you’d be into sci-fi movies.”
“Oh, I—well, yeah,” you said, giving a small, bashful smile. “I guess I’m full of surprises.”
Logan chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that somehow made you feel warm inside. “Yeah, guess so.”
The hall was quieter now, most of the students already heading to their rooms or the common areas for the night. You pushed your glasses up, looking down as you fiddled with the strap of your watch. “I guess it’s just, I don’t know, nice to get lost in a different universe sometimes. It’s a little easier when there’s lightsabers and the Force involved, I guess.”
Logan nodded, his gaze drifting over your face, as if he was trying to memorize every detail. “You ever feel like you’re still in a different universe when you’re here?”
You thought about it, then nodded. “Sometimes. It’s… hard to explain.”
“Don’t need to,” he said, voice soft. “I get it.”
You looked up at him, surprised by the understanding in his tone. He held your gaze, his expression uncharacteristically gentle, almost as though he was sharing in that quiet space with you. There was something in his eyes that felt like familiarity—a feeling of being seen that made you shift nervously, warmth blooming in your cheeks.
“Thanks,” you said softly, a shy smile touching your lips.
“Anytime,” he replied, the words seeming to carry a weight you couldn’t quite place.
---
Some of the kids were training with Ororo and Scott in the Danger Room, while you sat on the sidelines, observing intently. The kids were sparring, testing their powers in controlled scenarios, but it was more intense than you’d expected. Even from the sidelines, you felt a little thrill from watching their dedication.
You’d learned to dodge and block a bit from Logan about a month ago, but that was the extent of your training. Though your time-manipulation abilities offered you certain advantages, you still felt unprepared when it came to hand-to-hand combat. After all, a time freeze was helpful, but it couldn’t teach you how to throw a proper punch. You adjusted your glasses, watching as Scott demonstrated a move for Jones, who was trying to keep up, determination written all over his face.
“Ya look like you’re itching to join ‘em,” Logan’s voice came from behind you, low and teasing. You hadn’t noticed him enter, but his presence felt natural by your side. You looked up, feeling your cheeks warm as he met your gaze with a familiar glint in his eye, one you’d come to recognize as playful but warm—especially when it was directed at you.
“Well,” you admitted, shyly tugging at your sleeve, “I feel like I should know more. I mean, just in case.” You glanced back at the training session, feeling a little vulnerable for admitting it, especially to him.
Logan gave a small chuckle, crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall beside you. “In that case, why don’t I show you a thing or two? You’re not gonna get there just watchin’.” His gaze softened. “If you want to, that is.”
“Yeah, I think I’d like that.” Your voice was quieter than you’d intended, a little unsure, but there was something reassuring about the way he looked at you that made you want to try.
Logan led you to an empty part of the training area, away from the others. “Alright, first things first,” he said, taking your hands and guiding them into fists, his touch careful. “A punch isn’t just throwin’ your fist forward. You want to aim with your whole body—so start by grounding your feet.”
He placed his hands on your shoulders to adjust your stance. His fingers lingered a moment longer than necessary, and your heart skipped a beat. He guided your arm into position, his touch steady and sure as he moved your arm, ensuring your wrist was aligned.
“Now, try to punch me,” he instructed with a small grin, stepping back and raising his hand to form a target.
You glanced at him, nervous but determined, and took a swing. Your punch landed, but he didn’t even flinch. Instead, he raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Not bad for a first try. Try again, but this time put your weight into it. Use your hips,” he suggested, moving closer to guide you through the motion again.
Taking a breath, you tried again, focusing on his advice. This time, you felt the force of your punch increase, though he still didn’t seem fazed. Logan nodded approvingly. “There ya go, that’s it. Now, keep practicing that. Remember: control, not just power.”
As you kept practicing, Logan’s focus remained on you, his gaze warm and encouraging. You caught Ororo and Scott exchanging glances, a knowing smile on Ororo’s face, though neither said anything. You brushed off your flustered thoughts, managing to hold Logan’s gaze with a shy smile.
Eventually, after a few more attempts, Logan put his hands up in a surrendering motion. “Alright, I think you’re ready to take on the universe,” he joked, his eyes crinkling with that soft smile that seemed to be reserved just for you. “Now, don’t go punchin’ the wrong people, alright?”
You laughed, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ll try not to.”
As you both headed out of the training area, Logan walked beside you, his shoulder just barely brushing yours. His tone was playful, but there was a tenderness in his gaze, and you felt a connection you couldn’t quite explain—something you couldn’t put into words but could feel, lingering between you.
---
You zipped your suitcase, a small carry-on for your few-day trip to California. The upcoming Quantum Information Science conference had you both nervous and excited, though you'd never been all that eager to travel alone.
Jean poked her head in, her expression soft but amused as she saw you standing by your suitcase, taking a breath before the journey. In her hands was a wide-brimmed sun hat, clearly out of place for the mansion but perfect for a California trip.
"Since you're heading to sunny California, I got you this," she said, plopping the hat onto your head with a grin. “Just because you're going to a conference doesn’t mean you can't look like you’re on vacation."
You adjusted the hat, laughing softly, though the nervous energy still lingered. “Thanks, Jean. I’m sure it’ll come in handy,” you replied, a little shy, but you knew she was only trying to lighten the mood.
Just then, Logan appeared at the doorway, crossing his arms as he leaned against the frame. His eyes held that familiar glint as he took in the scene, though there was something else—a flicker of protectiveness, one you’d come to recognize. Logan was rarely this obvious about it, but when he looked at you like that, it was hard to ignore.
“So, all packed?” he asked, his tone light but his gaze serious.
“Just about,” you nodded, glancing at the suitcase before looking back at him. There was a strange ache in your chest, almost like you were about to leave behind something important. But it was only a short trip. You didn’t expect to feel this way.
He gave a quick nod, then shrugged as if trying to brush off a thought. "Mind if I tag along?" He asked it casually, but the tension in his posture said he wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer.
“Oh—uh, well, I mean, if you want to,” you stammered, caught off guard. “But, Logan, don’t you have training and—”
“Y/N,” he interrupted, a small, knowing smile tugging at his lips. “Wouldn’t sit right with me, you crossin’ the country all alone.” His voice softened. “Call it me lookin’ out for ya.”
Jean smirked, rolling her eyes as she slipped past him. “Well, you two have fun in California,” she said with a wink, clearly in on the unspoken connection between you and Logan.
As she left, you tried to push down your shy smile. “You know, I’ll be in a conference room most of the time,” you teased him. “Not sure it’ll be much fun.”
Logan just shrugged. “Yeah, well, I can think of worse ways to spend a few days.” He bent down, hoisting your suitcase up with ease, then gestured with his head for you to follow him.
---
The flight was uneventful, but you found yourself hyper-aware of Logan's presence beside you. Each time he glanced your way to check in, your heart skipped a beat. Eventually, you arrived at your hotel, a sleek conference venue just a short walk from the beach.
Logan was grabbing the bags from the cab as you checked in.
"Yep, a single room—" the woman began.
"Oh, uh—actually, I called earlier and upgraded to a double," you interrupted.
The woman at the front desk popped her gum, gave the computer screen a flat look, and then glanced back at you. "Yeah, the single is the only room available," she said, unfazed by your surprise.
You bit your lip, stealing a glance at Logan, who had just entered with his duffel bag slung over one shoulder. His expression didn’t change—casual as always—but you could sense a flicker of discomfort beneath the surface.
“Guess that means we’ll be getting cozy,” he said, deadpan, though there was a mischievous glint in his eye.
You felt the heat rise in your cheeks. “Uh, yeah,” you managed, offering the desk clerk a smile before accepting the key. Logan followed you to the elevator in silence, though you could practically feel him smirking beside you.
Once you got to the room, you stepped in and took in the minimal space: one bed, no couch. A tiny table with one chair was pushed against the wall. Logan set his bag down by the door, glancing around before turning his attention to you.
“Looks like I’ll be takin’ the floor,” he said, already half-kneeling to lay out his bag.
“Wait,” you protested, shuffling closer and folding your arms. “You can’t just sleep on the floor. It’s… well, I don’t know what’s been on it,” you finished with a grimace, barely resisting the urge to pull a face.
Logan chuckled softly, his eyes meeting yours, and something softened in his expression. “Couldn’t let you sleep there. Besides,” he added, with a faint smirk, “I’ve slept on worse.”
You hesitated, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “We’re both adults. We could… share.” You kept your gaze on the floor, hoping he couldn’t see the flush creeping up your cheeks. “I mean, just sleep,” you added quickly, regretting the bold suggestion the moment it was out.
He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused, but he didn’t make a joke at your expense, which you appreciated. “Sure, if you’re comfortable with that.” His voice was softer, reassuring even, which only made your heart pound a little faster.
You gave a small nod, not trusting your voice to stay steady, and took a seat on one side of the bed, facing away from him. You could hear the soft rustling as Logan removed his boots and jacket, settling onto the other side of the bed. The silence was almost tangible as he lay beside you, and your senses were suddenly on high alert—aware of every small shift he made, the warmth of him radiating just inches away.
After a few moments, Logan’s voice cut through the silence. “Nervous about this conference?”
“Yeah,” you admitted, grateful for the distraction. “It’s… a lot of pressure. Presenting in front of so many people. I know I’m prepared, but it’s hard to shake the nerves.”
He was quiet for a moment. “You’ve got nothin’ to worry about. You know your stuff better than anyone, from what I’ve seen. Besides,” he added, his tone softening, “you got me around if you need backup.”
You smiled, glancing over to meet his gaze. “Thank you, Logan. Really.”
He shrugged, but there was a warmth in his eyes that wasn’t there before. “S’what I’m here for.”
The two of you lay in silence after that, but you could feel the faint pull of sleep starting to settle in.
---
He shouldn’t have been surprised when he woke up like this—his arm draped loosely around your waist, your hand resting on his, and your back pressed against his chest. Logan’s breath was steady, brushing against the crook of your neck as the early morning sunlight filtered faintly through the hotel curtains. For a moment, he just lay there, motionless, taking it all in.
It wasn’t the first time he’d woken up tangled with you—not in this life or the ones before it—but it still hit him differently every time. That same ache, deep and persistent, stirred in his chest. The sense of déjà vu was almost unbearable, made worse by the fact that you didn’t remember any of it.
Logan’s thumb brushed the back of your hand, and he let his gaze drift down to where your fingers loosely curled around his. Even in your sleep, there was trust in how naturally you leaned into him, as if some part of you, deep down, remembered too.
“Darlin’, you’ve got no idea what you do to me,” Logan murmured softly, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. His voice was low, almost a whisper, as if saying it out loud would make it too real. He knew you couldn’t hear him—not like this—but the words still felt heavy on his tongue.
“You’re always slippin’ away from me. Feels like I’m just chasin’ ghosts,” he admitted, his voice barely audible. “But not this time. Not this time.”
He pressed a feather-light kiss to your neck, just above your shoulder. The gesture was fleeting, tender, but it made his chest tighten. It was a moment he couldn’t allow himself to linger in—because if you woke up like this, he knew it would mess with your head, and the last thing he wanted was to throw you off before the conference.
Carefully, Logan began to shift, untangling himself from you with slow precision. He froze as you stirred slightly, mumbling something incoherent, but your breathing evened out again, and he exhaled quietly in relief. Once he was free, he moved to the other side of the room, his footsteps barely making a sound on the hotel carpet.
Leaning against the dresser, Logan ran a hand through his hair and let out a soft sigh. He glanced over at the bed, watching as you turned onto your side, still deep in sleep. You looked peaceful, content even. It was a rare sight, and he found himself unwilling to look away for a long moment.
The guilt clawed at him, as it always did. You didn’t ask for this—for him to carry around the weight of all your lives while you got to start fresh every time. He wondered if you’d even want to know if you could, or if you’d see him as just another piece of baggage tying you down.
Shaking off the thoughts, Logan turned his attention to the clock on the nightstand. It was just past 7 a.m., and the day would start soon enough. If he wanted to make sure you were ready for it, he needed to keep his distance—for now, at least.
He grabbed his jacket and stepped out onto the small balcony, letting the cool California air clear his head. The streets below were already bustling, the morning hum of the city a sharp contrast to the quiet of the room. Logan lit a cigar, taking a slow drag as he leaned against the railing.
No matter how many lives you lived, some things about you never changed—the way you tilted your head when you were lost in thought, the soft curve of your smile, the determination in your voice when you talked about something you were passionate about. It was those small consistencies that kept pulling him back to you, no matter how hard he tried to stay away.
When he finally reentered the room, the sunlight had grown brighter, filtering through the sheer curtains and spilling across the bed. You were starting to stir, your hand brushing against the pillow where his head had been moments earlier. Logan sat in the chair by the small table, keeping a casual distance as he watched you slowly blink awake.
“Morning,” he said, his voice low but warm.
You stretched slightly, rubbing at your eyes before adjusting your glasses. “Morning,” you mumbled, your voice still laced with sleep. You glanced over at him, your cheeks flushing faintly when you noticed how closely he was watching you.
“You ready for today?” he asked, his tone deliberately casual. He leaned back in the chair, the cigar long gone, but the faint scent of smoke still lingered around him.
You nodded, though there was a flicker of hesitation in your eyes. “I think so. Just… need a little coffee first,” you added with a shy smile.
Logan stood, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair. “I’ll get us some,” he offered, his tone leaving no room for argument. “You just focus on getting ready.”
You watched him as he moved toward the door, your smile growing a little softer. “Thanks, Logan.”
He paused, glancing back at you with that familiar warmth in his gaze. “Anytime, sweetheart.”
---
You took another glance at Logan, who was seated beside you, looking ahead at the stage where Roger Koch was going to talk about dc SQUID Qubit’s.
“You didn’t have to come with me to see these talks,” you said, tilting your head slightly to look at Logan.
The two of you were seated toward the back of the conference room, a relatively quiet spot where Logan could stay unnoticed while still keeping a clear line of sight on everything. Not that anyone here would recognize him—he doubted quantum physicists ran in the same circles as mutants with claws and anger issues—but old habits died hard.
He leaned back in his chair, legs stretched out in that effortless, Logan way, arms crossed. His eyes flicked to yours, a hint of something unreadable in his expression. “Didn’t seem right, lettin’ you fly cross-country alone,” he replied, his voice low, just loud enough for you to hear over the murmur of the crowd.
You blinked, a little surprised at his candor. “It’s not like I haven’t done things on my own before,” you said softly, adjusting your glasses out of habit.
Logan shrugged. “I know that.” His lips curved into a faint smirk, the kind that always sent a little flutter through your chest before you could tamp it down. “But maybe I didn’t feel like sittin’ around the mansion while you were out here. Figured someone oughta keep an eye on you.”
You raised an eyebrow, fighting the small smile tugging at your lips. “Keep an eye on me? Logan, this is a science conference, not a battlefield.”
“Still plenty that could go wrong,” he said, the smirk fading as his voice took on a softer, almost serious edge. He didn’t elaborate, but the meaning lingered between you.
For a moment, you hesitated, unsure how to respond. You weren’t used to this kind of protectiveness—it wasn’t overbearing, exactly, but it felt... personal. A little too personal for someone you’d only known for a few months.
“Well,” you said finally, keeping your tone light, “I hope you don’t regret it. Physics lectures aren’t exactly your scene.”
Logan gave a short, quiet laugh. “I’ll survive.” His gaze lingered on you for a moment longer before drifting to the front of the room. “Besides, not like I’m here for the science.”
Your cheeks warmed at the implication, and you quickly turned your attention back to your notebook, pretending to jot something down. Logan didn’t need to know how those little comments of his threw you off balance.
The lights dimmed slightly as the speaker, Roger Koch, took the stage. You straightened in your seat, trying to focus on the introduction, but it was hard to ignore Logan’s presence beside you—the subtle way his shoulders shifted, the quiet rhythm of his breathing.
It wasn’t fair, really, how easily he unsettled you. And yet, somehow, it felt... familiar, even if you couldn’t place why.
As the talk went on, Logan didn’t make a sound. But every so often, out of the corner of your eye, you could see him glance your way. It was subtle—nothing anyone else would notice—but it sent a quiet thrill through you every time.
By the time the presentation ended, the room buzzed with quiet chatter as people began to stand and stretch. Logan leaned closer to you, his voice low. “You catch all that?”
“Most of it,” you said, closing your notebook and giving him a small smile. “You?”
His smirk was back, teasing. “Not a damn word.”
You laughed softly, the sound surprising even you. “Why’d you even come, then?”
Logan shrugged, standing and slipping his hands into his jacket pockets. “Told you. I’m not here for the lectures.”
You shook your head, but the warmth in his tone lingered, chasing away the awkwardness.
“And the next one is…” he looked down at the pamphlet but didn’t say anything, his brows furrowed as he tried to comprehend the words on the paper.
“Rabi Oscillations in a Large Josephson Junction Qubit,” you said, a hint of amusement in your voice. Your eyes flickered back to Logan, a small smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. “You really don’t care about that talk, do you?”
Logan just shrugged, unfazed, his lips curling into a grin that made your heart skip. "Nah," he said simply, as though that was all there was to it. "Not my thing."
You rolled your eyes, but there was a soft warmth in your gaze as you looked at him. You had to admit, it was hard not to be aware of him, even in the middle of a room full of physicists discussing things you could barely wrap your head around. It wasn’t just that Logan had a presence that drew attention. It was the way he made you feel seen, even in a crowd.
Still, you tried to refocus on the upcoming lecture, shifting in your seat and tapping your pen against your notebook. The faintest flicker of discomfort crossed your mind as you realized you had no idea why you were even thinking about him this much, especially when you needed to be thinking about work.
Logan, meanwhile, seemed to have a permanent attachment to his casual indifference, but you noticed his gaze flicker to you again as you adjusted your glasses. His smile, small and knowing, stayed just at the edges of his lips, a quiet contrast to his usual stoic demeanor.
"So," Logan began, stretching his legs out even more, "what else is on your little agenda for today?"
You raised an eyebrow, amused by how interested he seemed in your plans, despite the fact that he'd already admitted this wasn’t his idea of a good time. “You really want to know?”
“Why not?” He gave you a small shrug, making it clear he wasn’t just asking out of courtesy.
You hesitated. Your typical habit was to keep things close to your chest, but for some reason, you felt a little more open with him. Maybe it was the fact that you’d been awake for the better part of the night on the flight out, or that Logan, for all his gruffness, wasn’t like most people you met. And it wasn't just because he was a member of the X-Men—there was something more. Something you couldn’t quite put into words.
“I think there's a session on quantum coherence in the afternoon," you said, glancing down at your schedule. "And then the poster session afterward. You’re probably gonna get bored quickly with all of that."
A slight laugh rumbled in his chest. "Guess I’ll have to keep my eye out for any... interesting distractions," he said, his voice low and just enough to send a shiver up your spine.
You pretended not to notice the way his words lingered in the air between you, but you couldn’t quite hide the slight flush that creeped up your cheeks. It was... impossible not to notice him when he spoke like that.
The conversation drifted back to the talk as the lights dimmed once again, signaling the start of the next presentation. Logan’s eyes never fully left you, even as the speaker began his complex talk on quantum information systems. His gaze, though, was softened now, absent of the usual intensity. It was as if, in the span of a few moments, he'd gone from being the aloof, silent protector to someone who just... wanted to be near you.
The thought crossed your mind unbidden—Could he be like this with anyone? Or was it only you?
But before you could chase the thought any further, the speaker’s voice became the focus of the room again, and you pushed the lingering thoughts away, focusing on the task at hand.
---
After what felt like hours—though you knew it had only been a couple—you were finally able to slip out of the conference hall. The speaker had wrapped up, and you both decided it was time for a break. The session wasn’t your favorite, but you couldn’t help but feel relieved to step out into the cool California air.
“You don’t need to keep me company, you know,” you said, a little sheepishly, as Logan followed you down the hallway, close enough that his shadow loomed over yours.
His hand brushed against yours lightly, almost absentmindedly. “Figured it was the least I could do.”
“Least you could do?” you chuckled, giving him a teasing look over your shoulder. “You’re already here. What more could you possibly do?”
Logan’s lips curled into a faint smile at your teasing tone, though there was something different in his expression. "Maybe I just like being close to you."
Your heart skipped a beat. You quickly turned your gaze forward, your cheeks warming despite your best attempts to hide it. “You sure it’s not just the coffee you're after?”
“Could be," he replied, his tone low but warm, almost as if he didn’t mind the teasing. "Could be.”
There was something in his voice, a hint of something unsaid, but you didn't push him on it. Instead, you focused on the coffee stand ahead of you, grateful for the distraction.
---
The week was over, and you both made it back to the mansion late in the evening. You stepped through the double doors of the X-Mansion, feeling the warmth of familiarity wrap around you after days of being surrounded by unfamiliar faces. Logan trailed behind, carrying both your duffle and his, despite your protests on the ride back.
“Seriously, I can carry my own bag,” you muttered as you pushed your glasses up the bridge of your nose.
“Don’t mention it, darlin’,” Logan replied casually, his lips curling into a faint smirk. He didn’t bother to look back as he headed toward the main staircase, your bag still slung effortlessly over his shoulder.
You rolled your eyes, but the corners of your mouth betrayed you, pulling into a small, amused smile. It was hard to stay annoyed at him when he insisted on doing little things like that.
“Jean’s in the rec room,” Logan said as you both turned toward the hall.
“How can you possibly know that?” you asked, glancing at him over your shoulder.
He just tapped his nose in response, grinning in that way he always did when he knew something you didn’t.
When you walked into the rec room, Jean was exactly where Logan had said she’d be—curled up on one of the couches with a book in her lap. She glanced up as you entered, her eyes lighting up at the sight of you.
“Hey! You’re back!” Jean closed her book and stood, crossing the room to pull you into a warm hug. “How was the conference?”
“Pretty great,” you said, grinning as you reached into the bag Logan had just set down. You pulled out a navy-blue baseball cap embroidered with the words Quantum Information Science in bold white letters and plopped it onto her head.
Jean laughed, adjusting the cap so it sat properly. “Oh, wow. I feel smarter already.”
Logan leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, a quiet smirk on his face as he watched the two of you.
Jean’s eyes flickered to him briefly before settling back on you. “Did Logan behave himself?” she teased, raising an eyebrow.
You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, your cheeks warming slightly. “He was fine. Kept me company during some of the talks, even if I don’t think he understood a word of them.”
“I understood plenty,” Logan said, pushing off the doorframe and stepping into the room. “Like how coffee’s the most important part of any conference.”
Jean laughed softly and shook her head. “Sounds about right.”
You reached into your bag again, this time pulling out a small, neatly wrapped package. “Oh, and I got you this,” you said, handing it to her.
Jean’s eyes lit up with curiosity as she unwrapped the package to reveal a sleek pen with her name engraved on the side. “This is beautiful. Thank you, Y/N.”
“It’s nothing,” you said quickly, brushing off her gratitude with a shy smile.
Logan watched the exchange quietly, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than necessary before he turned toward the door. “I’ll let you two catch up,” he said over his shoulder. “I’ll be in the garage if you need me.”
As he disappeared down the hallway, Jean turned to you, a knowing smile tugging at her lips. “He’s been hanging around you a lot lately.”
You busied yourself with unpacking, trying to ignore the faint heat creeping up your neck. “We were just at the conference together. It’s not a big deal.”
“Uh-huh,” Jean said, her tone teasing but not pushy.
“Don’t start,” you muttered, though there was no real bite to your words.
Jean laughed softly, giving you a look that said she wasn’t going to let this go so easily. But for now, she dropped the subject, slipping the cap off her head and setting it on the coffee table.
“Alright, I’ll let it slide—this time. But only because I want to hear about all the science stuff I missed.”
You smiled, settling onto the couch beside her and launching into a recap of the conference, doing your best to keep the focus on the lectures and not the way Logan had stayed by your side through it all.
---
You were sitting on the bed with Jean when the first sneeze happened. You had just been telling her about how you were up with Jubilee last night since she caught a cold from Kitty, and now you hoped you weren’t getting sick.
Jean raised an eyebrow from her dresser, where the soft glow of a candle flickered against the room’s walls. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her expression shifting to mild concern as she turned to face you.
“Y/N, don’t tell me you’re catching what Jubilee had,” she said, folding her arms as she leaned back against the dresser.
You sniffled, rubbing at your nose with the back of your hand. “I don’t know. Maybe? She sneezed on me last night, and I don’t have a healing factor like Logan.”
Jean grimaced in sympathy and gestured for you to sit. “Well, you’re not about to suffer alone. Sit. Let me check.”
“Jean, I’m fine. It’s probably just a tickle.” But you obediently perched on the edge of her bed, watching as she crossed the room with her usual calm precision.
She pressed the back of her hand to your forehead, her cool touch a stark contrast to the faint warmth radiating from your skin. You crinkled your nose at the sensation, and she laughed softly. “You’re warm. Not quite a fever, but you should rest. I can cover your classes tomorrow if it gets worse.”
You started to protest, but she waved you off. “Don’t argue. If you’re sick, the students will survive one day without you explaining quantum mechanics.”
Your lips quirked up in a small smile. “Thanks, Jean. I owe you.”
“Always,” she replied lightly, moving back to the dresser. As she fiddled with the candle wick, she glanced at you. “Do you need anything? Tea? Soup?”
You shook your head, but just as you opened your mouth to respond, another sneeze caught you off guard. Jean sighed dramatically. “I’m taking that as a yes to tea.”
Before Jean could head to the kitchen, there was a knock at the doorframe. Both of you turned to see Scott leaning casually against it, arms crossed as a faint smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.
“Don’t tell me you caught it now,” he said, nodding toward you.
“Caught what?” you asked, sniffling as you dabbed at your nose with a tissue.
“Whatever Jubilee had. She’s been sneezing all over the place like it’s her mutant power,” Scott replied, stepping into his and Jean’s shared room. He glanced at Jean. “Is it serious?”
Jean shook her head, giving you a playful yet sympathetic look. “Not yet. She’s warm, but I don’t think it’s a fever. Just a little rest and tea, and she’ll be fine.”
“I’m fine now,” you muttered, though another sneeze betrayed you mid-sentence. You groaned softly and dropped your head into your hands. “Okay, maybe a little tea wouldn’t hurt.”
“I’ll get it,” Scott said, surprising you. He glanced back at Jean, giving her a small smile. “You stay. I can handle tea duty.”
Jean raised an eyebrow. “You? Making tea?”
“I’ve watched you do it enough times. How hard can it be?” he shot back, his tone light. Without waiting for a response, he disappeared down the hall, leaving the two of you alone again.
You leaned back against the bed’s headboard, glancing at Jean. “Is it just me, or was that oddly thoughtful?”
Jean shrugged, a soft smile playing on her lips. “Scott can be thoughtful when he wants to be. He’s just not great at showing it all the time.” She perched on the edge of the bed, studying you. “But enough about him. What about you? When did you start feeling off?”
You shrugged. “Probably this morning. I thought it was just because I didn’t sleep well. Jubilee was up half the night, and I didn’t want to leave her alone.”
Jean smiled gently, nudging your arm. “You’re too nice sometimes, Y/N. It’s okay to put yourself first every now and then.”
“I’ll keep that in mind next time a student sneezes directly into my face,” you replied dryly, earning a soft laugh from her.
---
The soft clink of glass against your nightstand roused you from sleep. Blinking through the haze, you squinted at the figure in your room. Even in your half-conscious state, there was no mistaking the broad frame, the wild hair, or the quiet, almost protective presence.
“Logan?” Your voice was hoarse, barely more than a croak, as you shifted to prop yourself up on one elbow.
“Yeah, darlin’. It’s me,” he said, keeping his voice low. He straightened, setting down the glass of water and the small plastic cup with pills inside. “Figured you could use these.”
You blinked at the items, then at him, confusion mixing with an embarrassing sense of gratitude. “How did you know I wasn’t feeling well?”
He shrugged, his eyes scanning your face briefly before resting on the nightstand. “Jean mentioned it when I ran into her. Said you might need some downtime.”
“Oh,” you murmured, sinking back against your pillows. “Thanks, but you didn’t have to—”
“Didn’t say I had to,” he cut in, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. “Wanted to.”
That simple statement left you momentarily speechless. You weren’t used to this—the small, subtle gestures that showed he cared in his own quiet way. Finally, you managed a faint smile. “That’s... really nice of you.”
Logan chuckled, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “Nice, huh? Don’t let that get around. Got a reputation to uphold.”
You couldn’t help but laugh softly, the sound dissolving into a cough that you quickly muffled with the crook of your arm. Logan’s brow furrowed, the teasing edge slipping from his expression.
“You sure you’re alright?”
“I’ll be fine,” you reassured him, though your voice wavered just slightly. “Just need some rest. And maybe a hazmat suit next time Jubilee gets sick.”
That earned a low chuckle from him, and the sound sent a strange warmth curling in your chest. He pushed off the wall, his boots heavy but quiet against the floor as he approached your bed.
“Take the meds, Y/N,” he said, his tone soft but insistent. “And drink the water. No arguing.”
“Yes, sir,” you muttered, though there was no bite in your tone. Reaching for the cup, you downed the pills with a grimace and a sip of water. When you glanced back at him, his gaze hadn’t shifted.
“Better?” he asked.
You nodded, setting the glass back on the nightstand. “Better.”
Logan lingered for a moment, his eyes searching yours as if to make sure you weren’t bluffing. Finally, he nodded, stepping back toward the door.
“Get some sleep,” he said gruffly, though his voice held an unexpected warmth.
“Logan,” you called softly before he could leave. He paused in the doorway, his silhouette framed by the soft light spilling in from the hallway. His head turned slightly, his sharp eyes flicking back to meet yours. “You can… stay if you want—or, uh, can you stay?”
The words tumbled out of you, shy but sincere, and you weren’t entirely sure what you expected. Logan hesitated, his fingers flexing slightly as they rested on the doorframe.
“I don’t wanna bother you, sweetheart,” he said, his voice gruff but not unkind.
“You won’t,” you said quickly, the corners of your lips curving into a small, nervous smile. “I mean, unless you snore.”
That earned a faint chuckle from him. “You’re the one who’s sick, darlin’. Sure it’s not the other way around?”
You laughed softly, the sound fading into a sniffle. “Jean says I get cuddly when I’m sick,” you admitted, fiddling with the hem of your blanket. “Last time, she stayed in here with me instead of with Scott.”
Logan’s brows lifted at that, a mix of surprise and something else flickering in his expression. He stepped fully into the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. “Alright,” he said after a long moment. “But if I’m stayin’, you’re restin’. Deal?”
You nodded, your gaze dropping to the bed as Logan pulled up the chair from the corner of the room. He turned it backward, settling into it with his arms crossed over the back.
But the sight of him there—close, but not close enough—made you hesitate. Gathering your courage, you patted the empty space on the bed beside you. “You could sit here, you know. It’s more comfortable than that chair.”
Logan’s gaze flicked to the spot, then back to you. “You sure?”
“Yeah,” you said softly. “I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.”
Logan studied you for a moment longer before nodding. He rose from the chair and approached the bed, the mattress dipping slightly as he sat on the edge. When he didn’t move further, you reached out and tugged lightly on his sleeve.
“You don’t bite, do you?” you teased, the shyness in your voice tempered by a touch of humor.
That coaxed a smirk from him. “Not unless I’m provoked.”
You rolled your eyes but shifted to give him more room. What he didn’t expect—what surprised him to his core—was the way you shifted closer, curling into his side like it was the most natural thing in the world. Your head rested on his shoulder, and one of your hands lightly gripped the fabric of his shirt.
“Jean was right,” you murmured sleepily, the warmth of him lulling you into comfort. “I do get cuddly when I’m sick.”
Logan swallowed thickly, his throat bobbing as he glanced down at you. His arm, tentative at first, came up to wrap around your shoulders, his hand resting lightly against your arm. His heart, which had weathered over a century of battles and losses, seemed to ache in a way it hadn’t in decades. Not since the last time you’d smiled at him like that—lifetimes ago.
“You’re fine, darlin’,” he murmured, his voice so low it was almost a rumble. “Get some rest.”
You hummed in response, already half-asleep, your breathing steadying as you settled deeper into his side. Logan leaned his head back against the headboard, the faint scent of your shampoo lingering in the air between you.
He couldn’t remember where he was born. Couldn’t remember the faces of his parents, or the details of any life he’d had before them. But he remembered you—every life, every smile, every loss.
And as you rested against him, Logan vowed silently that this time, he’d do everything in his power to protect you. For as long as he could, for as long as fate allowed, he’d stay by your side.
---
Logan opened the kitchen door, his palm resting against it until it clicked open fully. You walked through without hesitation, balancing a pile of graded papers in one hand and a steaming mug of tea in the other. Your focus was elsewhere, likely on your day’s agenda, leaving you unaware of the small effort he made to keep the door steady for you.
“Thanks,” you murmured absently, not looking back as you continued into the hallway.
Logan followed behind, his boots a quiet, steady rhythm on the floor. He didn’t respond, didn’t need to—you’d said the same thing a dozen times this week alone, and each time, you hadn’t quite noticed who you were thanking. His lips tugged into a faint smirk as he glanced at you from the corner of his eye.
The hallway was bustling with students heading to classes, some chatting animatedly, others juggling books or laptops. Logan stepped closer to your side, subtly adjusting his pace to match yours as the two of you navigated the crowd.
One of the students, a wiry teenager with goggles perched on his head, nearly stumbled into you as he fiddled with a small gadget in his hands. Logan’s hand shot out, a firm but careful grip on your elbow guiding you out of the boy’s path.
“Eyes up,” Logan said, his tone gruff but not harsh.
“Sorry, Mr. Logan!” He called back, clutching his gadget and scurrying off.
You glanced up, startled for a moment, before flashing Logan a small, grateful smile. “That kid’s going to accidentally build a time machine one day.”
Logan huffed a quiet laugh. “Probably already did. Just hasn’t figured it out yet.”
You shook your head, your smile lingering as you shifted the papers under your arm. Logan stayed close as the two of you weaved through the remaining students. When you reached the door to your classroom, you paused, glancing at him as he leaned against the frame.
“You’re not my shadow, are you?” you teased, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.
“Guess you’d know if I was,” he quipped, the corner of his mouth twitching in a half-smile.
Rolling your eyes, you nudged the door open with your shoulder, juggling your tea and papers. Before you could get too far, Logan’s hand darted out, steadying the door before it could swing back against you.
“Thanks again,” you said, the words automatic as you made your way inside.
This time, Logan didn’t reply, watching as you set your things down on your desk and began sorting through them. You were focused, your brow furrowing slightly as you pulled a red pen from the pocket of your blazer and began marking something on one of the papers. He didn’t interrupt, but he didn’t leave either, leaning against the doorframe and letting his gaze linger just long enough to notice, once again, the faint sheen of gloss on your lips.
Logan clenched his jaw, willing the thought away as he straightened and stepped into the room. “You eat anything yet?”
“Hm?” You glanced up, your pen pausing mid-sentence. “Oh, uh, not yet. I’ve got a granola bar somewhere.”
Logan raised a brow, unimpressed. “That’s not breakfast, Y/N.”
“It’s close enough,” you argued, though your voice lacked any real conviction.
“C’mon,” Logan said, jerking his head toward the hallway. “Kitchen’s still got pancakes out.”
You hesitated, glancing between your papers and the door. “I should really get through these—”
“They’ll wait,” he cut in, his tone firm but not unkind. “And so will the kids. You’re not gonna teach ‘em anything on an empty stomach.”
You sighed, relenting with a small smile. “Alright, alright. Lead the way.”
Logan smirked, stepping aside to let you pass before falling into step behind you. As the two of you walked, he couldn’t help the faint sense of satisfaction that crept over him.
You might not have noticed the small things—the doors, the guiding hand, the way he made sure to keep you in his sight in a crowd—but he did. He noticed everything, because every moment with you, no matter how ordinary, felt like a fleeting gift.
And if there was one thing Logan had learned in the countless lifetimes he’d lived, it was how to savor the things worth remembering.
---
You sat on the bench in the Danger Room, the kids, Rogue, Bobby, Peter, and Kitty, had just left, Jean and Ororo behind them.
You let out a deep sigh, looking down at your water bottle, clutched between your hands.
Jean leaned against the bench beside you, her expression calm but thoughtful as she took in your posture—the hunched shoulders, the downturned gaze on the water bottle cradled in your hands.
"Rough session?" she asked gently, her voice breaking the quiet.
You exhaled slowly, barely lifting your head. "Not rough. Just... pointless."
Jean frowned, shifting slightly to face you more directly. "Pointless? You’re one of the smartest people here, Y/N. I’ve seen the way you handle yourself in simulations. You’re anything but pointless."
You let out a humorless laugh, shaking your head. "Simulations are one thing. But in real life, what can I do? Everyone else has powers that actually help in a fight. Logan, you, Ororo... even Bobby. And then there’s me—slowing down time but not actually stopping anything from happening. It’s like... I’m just a delay button, not a solution."
Jean tilted her head, her brows knitting in concern. "You don’t think slowing time is a solution?"
"Not when it’s all I can do," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. "I can’t fight. I can’t stop an attack. I can’t... save anyone. Not really."
Jean was quiet for a moment, her gaze softening. When she spoke again, her tone was steady but full of warmth. "Y/N, the reason so many of us are still here—why we’ve survived the fights we’ve been through—is because of people like you. People who think ahead, who create opportunities for the rest of us to make it out alive. Slowing time isn’t just a delay; it’s giving us a chance to breathe, to act, to survive."
You didn’t look up, but her words seemed to reach you, making your grip on the water bottle loosen slightly. Jean shifted closer, her hand resting lightly on your arm.
"You’ve saved people more times than you realize," she continued. "It’s easy to think that because you’re not throwing punches or shooting fire, you’re not contributing. But the truth is, without you, a lot of us wouldn’t have the chance to do those things in the first place."
You blinked, swallowing hard against the lump forming in your throat. "I just... feel like I’m not enough. Like I’ll never be enough."
Jean’s hand squeezed your arm gently, grounding you. "I’ve known you long enough to know that’s not true. And I think, deep down, you know it too. It’s not about being like everyone else, Y/N. It’s about being you—and using what you have to make a difference. And you do make a difference."
Her words hung in the air, settling in your chest like a quiet reassurance. You nodded slowly, still unsure but comforted nonetheless.
"You’re not alone in this," Jean added softly, her gaze turning slightly distant as if searching for something she couldn’t quite grasp. "We’re a team, and we’ve got your back. Just like you’ve got ours."
You managed a small, grateful smile, finally looking up at her. "Thanks, Jean. Really."
She smiled back, but there was something in her eyes—a flicker of something not quite Jean. It passed quickly, but not before you noticed it.
"You’ll see," she said, her tone steady again. "You’re stronger than you think."
And as she rose from the bench, her hand briefly brushing against your shoulder, you couldn’t shake the feeling that her words meant more than she let on. As if she knew something neither of you could quite explain.
---
You were making a simple pasta dish for yourself for dinner, it’s not something you do often, but since you didn’t have anything to do this Saturday night, you thought ‘why not?’
The pasta was almost done, the garlic and onions were caramelized in the pan, and now all you needed was the small can of tomato paste in the cupboard, way above your head.
You got on your tiptoes and reached up, your fingers grazing the can but unable to fully grasp it. You let out a huff as you stood back on your feet, frustration bubbling.
“Fine,” you muttered, glancing at the counter. Climbing up was starting to look like your only option.
You grabbed the edge of the counter and were just about to boost yourself up when a low voice from behind startled you.
“Need a hand, sweetheart?”
You spun around so quickly you nearly lost your balance. Logan leaned casually against the doorframe, arms crossed, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. He looked like he’d been there for a moment, just watching.
“I—uh,” you stammered, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
Logan pushed off the frame, walking toward you in that unhurried way of his. “Not my fault you’re so focused on... whatever it is you’re makin’ over there.” His eyes flicked to the stove before landing back on you. “What’s goin’ on? You stuck?”
You folded your arms, trying to mask your embarrassment. “I can get it. I was just about to—”
“Climb up there like a squirrel?” Logan teased, one brow arching. Without waiting for your reply, he stepped closer, his hand settled on your lower back as he reached over your head. Logan held the can of tomato paste out to you, the smirk still lingering as his eyes scanned your face. “There. Easy enough, yeah?”
You took the can from his hand, feeling the warmth of his fingers brush against yours. “I had it under control,” you replied, though your tone lacked conviction.
“Sure, sweetheart.” His voice was low and teasing, but not mocking. “Looked like you were about to break out a ladder for that one.”
Your cheeks flushed as you turned toward the stove, trying to focus on your cooking rather than the way his presence seemed to fill the room. “Thanks, though,” you muttered, keeping your back to him.
“Don’t mention it.” Logan didn’t move away, instead leaning against the counter beside you, watching as you added the paste to the pan. “So, this what you do for fun on a Saturday night? Whip up a fancy dinner for one?”
You glanced at him from the corner of your eye. “Not exactly. Just didn’t feel like the dining hall tonight.” You stirred the mixture, trying not to let his teasing tone get to you. “Besides, it’s not that fancy.”
He tilted his head, the corner of his mouth quirking upward. “Smells pretty damn good for ‘not that fancy.’”
You felt your lips twitch into a small smile despite yourself. “It’s just pasta.”
“Yeah, well, I’m still impressed.” He nodded toward the pan. “You always this good in the kitchen, or is this a one-time thing?”
You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Definitely not a regular thing. Usually, I stick to coffee and toast.”
“Figures.” Logan reached over, snagging a piece of garlic bread from the plate on the counter before you could stop him. He took a bite, his smirk deepening. “Not bad, though. You might be sellin’ yourself short.”
“Hey!” You playfully swatted at his arm. “That’s supposed to go with dinner.”
He held the bread just out of your reach, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I’m just helpin’ you taste-test. Gotta make sure it’s up to standard.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “Fine. Just don’t eat all of it.”
“Scout’s honor,” he said, raising his free hand in mock sincerity before taking another bite.
You turned your attention back to the stove, but you were acutely aware of Logan’s lingering gaze. It wasn’t uncomfortable—if anything, it was grounding, like he was anchoring you in the moment. Still, it made your stomach flip in a way you weren’t entirely prepared for.
“So,” he said after a moment, his voice quieter, less teasing. “What’re you doin’ with the rest of your night?”
You shrugged, keeping your eyes on the bubbling sauce. “Probably nothing. Maybe read a little.”
“That Physics of Time book you’re always lugging around?”
You blinked at him in surprise. “You noticed that?”
“Hard not to.” He leaned a little closer, his voice dropping to that rough, intimate tone that always seemed to make your pulse quicken. “You carry it like it’s part of you.”
“Well, it’s... interesting,” you said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “And, you know, kind of relevant.”
Logan chuckled, the sound low and warm. “Guess it is, huh? Still, doesn’t sound like much of a Saturday night. You ever think about takin’ a break? Havin’ some fun?”
Your lips parted, caught off guard by the question. “I... guess I just don’t think about it much.”
He tilted his head, studying you with a look that felt uncomfortably close to knowing. “Maybe you should. Life’s short, darlin’.”
You couldn’t help the small, ironic smile that tugged at your lips. “Coming from you?”
His expression softened, something almost wistful flickering in his eyes. “Even for me.”
The moment hung between you, quiet and heavy, until the sauce began to hiss and pop, snapping you back to the present. You turned to the stove, giving the pot a quick stir. “You staying for dinner, or was this just a drive-by teasing?”
Logan smirked, stepping back and crossing his arms. “Depends. You invitin’ me?”
You hesitated, then glanced at him over your shoulder. “Maybe.”
His grin widened, and for a moment, you saw something behind it—a flicker of something deeper, something he wasn’t quite ready to say. “Guess I’ll stick around then.”
You turned the burner off before going to a bottom cabinet and pressing the wall inside, revealing five wine glasses and a bottle of wine. You grabbed two glasses and the bottle before placing them on the counter.
Logan raised an eyebrow, “so there is alcohol here.”
You chuckled, “it’s mine and Jean’s secret. We had Scott build a secret compartment a while ago for us.”
Logan’s lips quirked into a smirk as he reached for the wine bottle. “Scott, huh? He’s got a soft spot for his favorite students, I take it?”
You rolled your eyes, pulling a corkscrew from the drawer. “More like Jean batted her eyelashes, and he caved. I’m just lucky to reap the benefits.”
“Smart move.” Logan opened the bottle with ease, the cork popping with a soft thwip. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you, sweetheart?”
You blinked, feeling your cheeks heat up. “I wouldn’t say that.”
Logan poured two glasses, sliding one toward you. “Don’t sell yourself short. A secret wine stash, cooking skills you claim are ‘basic,’ and a brain that can bend time—pretty damn impressive if you ask me.”
You laughed softly, taking the glass. “When you put it like that, it sounds cooler than it is.”
Logan lifted his glass, his eyes meeting yours over the rim. “Trust me, it’s cool.”
For a moment, you were caught in his gaze, the easy confidence in his expression making your pulse quicken. Then you shook your head, breaking the moment. “Okay, well, to secret wine stashes and mediocre pasta.”
Logan clinked his glass against yours. “I’ll drink to that.”
You both took a sip, the smooth wine adding a warmth that settled over you as the night unfolded. Logan leaned against the counter, watching you plate the pasta and sauce. You felt his presence like a magnet, steady and impossible to ignore. When you finally handed him a plate, he took it with a nod of thanks, heading toward the table without being asked.
“You always this much of a gentleman?” you teased, carrying your own plate to the table.
“Depends who I’m with,” Logan replied, pulling out your chair. His voice was casual, but there was a weight behind the words that made your breath hitch.
You settled into your seat, trying not to overthink it. “Guess I should feel special then.”
“You should,” Logan said simply, taking the seat across from you. He didn’t elaborate, but the look he gave you said plenty.
The two of you ate in companionable silence for a moment before Logan spoke again. “Jean know you’re hiding wine from her boyfriend?”
You nearly choked on your pasta. “She’s the one who helped me hide it! I’m not about to risk her wrath by spilling the secret.”
Logan chuckled, his grin wide. “Good to know you’ve got a rebellious streak.”
“It’s not rebellion,” you said, twirling your fork. “It’s... strategic resource allocation.”
He laughed, a low, rich sound that sent a pleasant shiver down your spine. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
The conversation flowed easily after that, ranging from light teasing about your cooking to him recounting a story about a bar fight he once got into over a bad jukebox selection. You found yourself relaxing, the usual shyness that often held you back melting away under Logan’s steady, easy presence.
After dinner, you leaned back in your chair, sipping the last of your wine. “Thanks for sticking around. It was... nice.”
“Nice, huh?” Logan leaned back, resting his arm on the back of his chair. “High praise.”
You laughed softly. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I do.” His tone softened, and his gaze lingered on you a moment longer than necessary. “You’re good company, Y/N. Don’t sell yourself short on that either.”
You ducked your head, hiding your smile behind your glass. “Thanks.”
Logan stood, gathering both plates before you could protest. “I’ll get these.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” he cut you off gently, his voice leaving no room for argument.
You watched him move to the sink, his broad shoulders a comforting presence even as he washed the dishes. A warmth settled in your chest that had nothing to do with the wine.
For the first time in a long time, the quiet of a Saturday night didn’t feel so lonely.
And Logan had to ignore the faint pink stain on your wine glass in the shape of your lips.
remember to go read the next chapter for the full story!
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#james howlett x reader#james howlett x you#logan howlett#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett fic#i love you in every time
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One of your posts had a rec list of zombie media, and one of them was Savageland. Watched it. Even knowing there were zombies involved it’s good. Even better, actually, because you the audience know that there’s something wrong but the characters don’t, or at least they don’t know what you know.
11/10. One of those movies that you have to go sit and think about for a while. I really liked the way it’s presented, the pseudo-documentary style. Also. So much going on. And it really hits because yeah, this feels terrifyingly plausible to happen. And even though it is a zombie story, it’s also got a lot more going on. Just. There’s so much to say about it. It’s a horror story. It’s political commentary. I don’t even know where to start.
Thanks for the rec! I feel like you’re the person for Good Zombie Media, and this is definitely one.
You're welcome! I've had this sense, and a longer post on the topic, that there's this loose trinity of themes from which zombie fiction can draw horror. There's the fear of societal inadequacy, the classic romero anxienty that our society simply isn't capable of rising to the challenge of something sufficiently disruptive, be that zombies or anything else. There's fear of sickness- the horror of being a zombie, of the indignity and helplessness of being reduced to something so base, so at odds with your current desires and morality, or alternatively something so inept- a creature that's basically less capable and competent than a human in every way despite going through the motions. And lastly there's the very straightforward fear of violence- what if there were a bunch of mindlessly-violent human-but-not-quite monsters running around killing the shit out of everything they see? What if all your neighbors all decided at once to try and kill you for no discernible reason? People don't normally do that! That'd be fucked up!
I think that these things can push and pull on each other, fighting for space. For a long time I thought that "fear of societal inadequacy" was fighting for space with "fear of violence," because the more effective a threat you make your zombies, the less meaningful it is when society can't react effectively to them. In the original Dawn of the Dead the fact that zombies are such an underwhelming threat if you've got your shit together is why the authority's dysfunctional response can provide meaningful criticism of our society. In the remake- they're hyperdurable beserkers with a short incubation period and they run at full speed! It doesn't say anything in particular if the army has trouble with that! So more of the horror ends up concentrated in the thing itself, the incongruous violence the zombies enact. Anyway, the long story short is that Savageland convinced me that actually, with proper framing, there's no contradiction whatsoever between a narrative about societal dysfunction in the face of crisis, and a narrative about scary-as-fuck implacable uncanny-valley killing machines.
Go watch this movie
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Fixing MHA's Ending So It Follows Through With Its Core Themes (And It Basically Fixes Itself)
I don't like retconning at the best of times, but turning what started as essentially a Hope focused narrative into a "realistic" tragedy at the very last second is some wild work.
So I'm gonna do what I do best as a fic writer and fix it!!!!!
The Summary
So, I'm pretty sure all of us were on mostly the same page up until the very last panels of the Shigaraki fight (Having AFO being just "born evil" was probably the start of things not being great, but I'm willing to let that slide because it doesn't really effect the overall function of the story that much). Once that and the epilogue started is where I mostly saw people being like ????????? to a lot of choices, so I'm going to focus on those two sections only.
We're gonna be rewriting:
-The deaths of the Villains + Kurogiri (obvs)
-The overall post-War actions and reactions
-The continued existence of the Commission and the Hero Rankings
-Hawk's fate
-Spinner's fate
-A liiiiitle tweak to Chisaki's fate
-Slight tweaks to the Todorokis
-and finally What to DO with the Villains + Kurogiri now that they're alive
And we'll be starting with...
Toga
Now for a battle that was so beautiful, this really did end up completely falling apart.
I'm not gonna justify every single Villain Rescue I do, but Toga's really comes down to one simple reason for me:
Her bullies literally wanted her to die as atonement.
You don't...typically make your character's fate agree with their bullies or abusers (otherwise???? why are you explicitly portraying them as bullies and abusers to the audience if you want us to ultimately agree with them?????)
Throughout most of the story prior to this, Hori made it a staple in the show that dying for the cause, hurting yourself for the cause, martyring yourself or otherwise telling someone to kill themselves for the cause is a vile thing to do. So, it makes ZERO sense why he would suddenly retcon this at such a critical moment, especially since he already set the stage for it to be wrong in the first place.
(also does anyone also think it was weird/creepy that Hori LITERALLY has her do this with Twice and she very explicitly says "Don't be stupid I don't have to give all of my blood away"? No? Just me?)
Everything happens the same, she still thinks she's sacrificing herself, "If only, if only", blah blah blah
AND THEN...
Hawks
This is such low-hanging fruit plot-wise it actually feels offensive that it went nowhere
Nothing happens with Hawks. We all say it, fans and non-fans alike. He is wasted potential incarnate. His story is a circle and it so easily did not have to be that way because of one simple writing decision:
Hawks and Toga share a blood type.
Up until now, it really did seem like Hawks learned nothing from Jin's death. The first thing he says when he sees the clones is, "We have to kill them now!" But then, picture him still battered and broken from his fight with AFO, wingless, but there is still SOMETHING he can do to save someone's life.
And he puts the needle in his arm instead, and before she can question it, he tells her Jin would want her to live. He's not gonna make the same mistake twice.
(I also think it'd be nice if he said something like how lucky she is, to really go full circle with the Jin story, but I'm not trying dialogue here lol)
And that leads us to...
Shigaraki (and Kurogiri!)
This is a double feature because with the way I'm doing it, I can't save one without the other.
So, something that happens during this and is super anti-climactic and seemingly pointless is Midoriya losing his hands. He gets em back in like 2 seconds, because Eri gives him a surprise rewind almost immediately after. The actual point of it was just to show the brand new rule that physical damage that happens in the vestige world also happens in the real world, so that killing Shigaraki a few chapters later would still make sense.
We're gonna get rid of that rule entirely and just say that Midoriya does not lose his actual arms in the fight, and psychological damage in a ghost world does not reflect physically in reality (or idk. If you DO want that to happen, then just say the embers of the vestiges protected him one last time or something).
And because he doesn't lose his arms, Eri still has a surprise rewind to use.
But before we get to that, we actually have to save Shigaraki. So, here's the super complicated rescue rewrite I came up with. Ready?
Kicking AFO out of his brain and giving him back full control over his body simply does not kill him.
That's it!!!! That's really all that needed to happen!! It was a very conscious choice to make that kill him! It's actually more work and details to kill Shigaraki than it is to save him!! Hori already went out of his way to say that Nana's vestige protected him so that he wasn't completely swallowed by AFO, just so he could say goodbye before fading away anyway. What if, considering the fact that hatred of Nana is what damned him, love FROM Nana actually just plain ol saves him? Full stop? We come full circle. It would make it a fantastic mirror to the Todoroki fight and solidify the theme that love from your/a family, even a broken one, will save you!!
And then further in the background, Bakugou doesn't randomly kill (?????? Even after reading it again I'm still really confused about how Kurogiri dies. I think this is what happens?????) Kurogiri, and instead starts to lose control like they feared. But then, refusing to give up on him, Aizawa hits him with the now-available Rewind Juice and it finally, finally stabilizes his mind for good.
The day is saved.
And that just leaves...
Touya
Unfortunately my stupid husband can't stop trying to kill himself for 2 seconds despite my best efforts to convince him otherwise, so there's really nothing I can do about the extent of his injuries
However, there's LOTS I can do about the way we're treating said injuries! =D
First of all, because Touya is my favorite, I do wanna allow myself the space to briefly rant about how his entire situation was handled because brother. first of all. It's so incredibly obvious that he was supposed to die on the battlefield with his comrades. That man had no fuckin eyeballs by the end of that fight, bffr. And then it was like Hori remembered the thing about the noodles and was like 'oh shit I better at least wrap that up lol' so he brought him back--eyeballs and TEARDUCTS magically intact btw so naturally the audience with reading comprehension was like 'oh he's healing somehow I guess'--just to get that specific moment on the books (and maybe just to draw Touya in his Batman Who Laughs era because I mean he does look pretty sick in the tank) and then turned around and killed him again. With no explanation what the random functioning tearducts and magical regrowth of eyeballs was about.
Like...my guy, you ain't gotta do all that. Again, it's so much harder and more complicated to kill him than it is to keep him alive. Not to mention he was killed OFF-SCREEN. WE DON'T EVEN GET TO SEE ANY--IF ANY--CONVERSATIONS HE HAS WITH SHOUTO OR HIS FAMILY, WHICH WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF NOT KILLING HIM ON THE BATTLEFIELD. INSTEAD OF THE SEXY SHIRTLESS SERVING-FACE-AT-A-FUNERAL IMAGE OF TOUYA WE COULD'VE SEEN A FLASHBACK OF THEM TALKING AND HIM SMILING AND BEING HAPPY WITH THEM FOR WHATEVER TIME THEY HAD AND THAT STILL WOULD'VE BEEN MORE SATISFYING. Y'KNOW. BECAUSE THAT WAS THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF THE TODOROKI PLOTLINE?????????????VSSSBBNM,.;;PUSAAXXGHIIRWDFGG
But anyway.
Fixing Touya's death is really simple. We can do two things, actually.
Work with the deus-ex Ice Quirk a little bit, make the Phoenix Theory canon. Ice heals him, the tank is a giant fridge. Lo and behold, it would explain why he magically healed eyeballs and tearducts. It's an incredibly slow process, but eventually he'd heal enough to be out of the tank and in a normal hospital setting for the rest of his recovery. It also gives him a goal to pursue for the future, I.E learning how to control the new side of his powers and mayybeeee getting interested in studying Quirk Biology in the process 👀
He simply!!!!!! Doesn't die!!!!!!!!! Out of ALLLLLLL the MHA characters, I would 100% believe you if you told me that Touya Todoroki nevertheless persisted. That's like...his entire character. You don't even need to give me a reason. His entire character up until now has been 'the one that's somehow still alive' to the point that the fucking Dr. Eggman lookin ass mad scientist that brought him back to life in the first place (in WORSE condition) was like 'yeah no idea how he's still here that's scary'. I'm sorry, the entire fucking show I've had to see A. An old man without a face with a back alley ventilator system shoved directly into his stoma that's somehow fine and talking perfectly, and B. Another old man missing his ENTIRE digestive tract for years and is still up and walking around somehow with no G-tube or colostomy bag to be seen, so I think by the power of God and Anime, Touya could probably survive his injuries and it would be within the realm of believability for the show. In fact, it's LESS believable that he stayed alive through all that by spite alone and then when he finally gets offered love and acceptance, that determination and tenacity to stay alive suddenly goes out the window. If anything, it should've made him MORE determined to live.
Sorry I got carried away with that one. But there. Everyone is saved and the core themes are intact.
Now we just have...
The Overall Actions and Reactions Post-War
Gonna sum this up really quickly:
-The cameras never turned off. They're built for Quirk resistance because they're a fucking newscast in a Hero society if their technology broke every time there were heavy Quirk exchanges there would never be any fucking news. Making them conveniently lose footage so none of the civs can see the Villains humanity is just rubbing salt in the wound and serves no narrative purpose in line with pre-established themes. Everyone saw what was recorded, and it helped the Villains' cases for rehabilitation.
-We do not censor out this battle in future history books. Everyone is very familiar with the final fight and the events and circumstances leading up to it. It is not erased from public memory as soon as possible. In fact, it's frequently studied and referenced when making new policies to avoid making the same mistakes. Hori. Wtf.
-We do not reinstate the Hero Rankings in any way shape or form, and Shouto is the biggest voice in dismantling this system. Voila, this is now actually the story of how they all became the greatest Heroes, because they aren't ranked. They're all literally the greatest Heroes, and so will everyone after them.
-This IS actually portrayed in the epilogue, but yes, let's be LESS reliant on Heroes and police and MORE invested in the community!!!!!!! Even more so than what's portrayed!!!!! Take another bit from Spider-Man: Anyone can wear the mask!!!!!! Let's make a world where Heroes have too much time on their hands and not just make more of them, right????????? Remember that????????
-WE DO NOT REINSTATE THE COMMISSION. WE GOT RID OF THEM CORRUPT HOES FOR A REASON!!!!!! NO A CHANGE OF THE GUARD IS NOT ENOUGH TO FIX IT WE'RE NOT 7YRS OLD!!!!! HORI. WTF. The only thing I want them to be in charge of is licensing Heroes. I want these fuckers to be the DMV of the Hero world and that's IT!!!!!!!
Which brings us to...
Hawks' Fate
I don't even fuck with this man like that, but he did not deserve to become CEO of the organization that groomed and abused him since he was a child when all he wanted to do was chase tail and fuck off to a beach somewhere. Considering the fact that he also, like, killed people he shouldn't have, let him retire like Endeavor, please. We're done giving the old guard power and privilege, especially when they explicitly did not and do not want it (and when they did have it, they misused it). The only thing I want this man involved with is Toga's recovery alongside Uraraka. Specifically, I want him paying for it and anything else she might need. Fuck it, you know what, make HIM Endeavor's personal aide instead of Rei!!!! He gets to be a little simp and Endeavor gets a replacement son to fill Natsu's spot. Everyone wins.
(He does deserve that hairline tho. I ain't fixin that.)
So that leaves...
Spinner's Fate
I'm not changing much here, besides the fact that now Shiggy is alive and I think they should be ✨Roommates✨ eventually (and obviously he's gonna be much less riddled with survivor's guilt). I still think he should write that book, but I also think that with his multiple Quirks, he should team up with scientists to understand how Quirks work in the body (and maybe get some of them removed from his).
And next...
Chisaki's Fate
I just think this guy needs to be in the same place as the other Villains, at least for a fraction of the time. Why is he just...out. He was also in that daycare and could definitely use some help before we just let him loose in the streets because he said sorry (Can the League just say sorry then??????????).
I do think afterwards he should get involved with something chemistry related tho, cause those bullets of his came in clutch.
And on that note...
The Todorokis' Fates
And by Todorokis I mean two of them, specifically Rei lol
Yeah, she's not gonna be Endeavor's nurse for the rest of her life lol. That man has more money than God, he can hire an aide like everybody else. In fact, they're not even living together. Do you remember how earlier in the series, he gave them a new house? So they could live away from him and he would be in the old house by himself? I liked that plan. Let's go back to that plan. I'm not gonna go as far as to make them divorce, if they're together they're together, but I think separation is a necessary must at this point because if they MUST stay together, they should at least try dating for once???????? Girl was actually bought like maybe they figure out if they even still like each other at all, or ever did.
(Also, I have to laugh as a motorized wheelchair user that Hori drew her pushing Endeavor all happy and blissfully. Motorized wheelchairs are not meant to be pushed like that lol. They have push features for emergencies and small around-the-house distances of course, but uh, mine's 350 pounds without me in it. It's not usually anyone's first choice.)
But there is one more Todoroki I have a lot to talk about, so that finally brings us to...
What Do We Do With The Villains + Kurogiri Now That They're Alive???????????
We take everything from comic books except what would actually makes sense with the story lol
Surprise!!!!!! We're doing Arkham!!!!!! This is another low-hanging fruit thing that I'm almost a little offended that it wasn't implemented. Obviously Arkham has its problems in the Batman canon that we're gonna try to avoid, but I honestly think Batman villains and the core MHA Villains are pretty similar in their execution in that they are primarily mentally ill victims of society who have done very terrible things, but the audience (and Batman himself) is actively rooting for them to get better over just rotting in jail or being killed. Two-Faced has killed sooooo many people and has relapsed a ton, but I ultimately still want to see him get better because he was Batman's best friend once and a good man, and what happened to him was a tragedy. I think all the Villains deserve a space where they can humanely heal from their issues and gain support, while also being safely separated from society while they're still dangerous to themselves and others.
Oh, but Batman and his endless money bought Arkham. Who do we know who has access to trust fund money, an investment in the mentally ill, and the bonus of a medical background that could fund such a thing?
Ladies and Gentlemen, please put your hands together for...
Natsuo Todoroki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mans graduates from college and immediately uses his money as a doctor and his inheritance to open up Rindou Sanctuary, in honor of his mother Rei and named after her favorite flower (I don't think he'd want to give Enji the satisfaction of his last name attached to his greatest achievement). He's head doctor on site and the board, and visits Touya every shift once he's healed enough to be transferred to the facility. He is very invested in his brother's treatment and refuses to lose him again--at least not until they're proper old men.
It is publicly funded by donors and taxes alike, and Enji, naturally, is always the highest donor. Call it reparations.
And there you have it! That's how to fix the epilogue. It took longer to type than think about. I could care less about canon shipping, so y'all can keep that (or not). I'm just here to fix the structural problems that have no reason to be here at this point. As I said, once I redrew lines Hori already set up and just abandoned, it pretty much fixed itself.
Hope you enjoyed it and I hope it eases the grief a little!!!!! They're alive look I fixed it!!!!!! <3
(also feel free to use anything I said in here in your own fix-it fics!!!! Just tag me so I can read them 👀)
#x-men but anime#I...don't wanna tag this with the main tag LMFAO#oh how about this I've seen this one#bnha critical#dabi#touya todoroki#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#toga himiko#league of villains#sorry if there's typos I did not realize it was 6am good lord
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